Yesterday between the Tydee Bowl and the Shrimp-Flavored Top Ramen Noodle Bowl I ruminated on all of the political scandals of 2008, and I must admit that the most recent batch makes me pine for the time, in the distant memory of weeks ago, before I even knew how to pronounce the word "Blagojevich." Those were the days. It was a simpler time. A time of airport bathrooms and air-head flakes from California. A time when a president could share a nineteen year-old girlfriend with a Mafia don (see photo at right), when brothers could share the favors of the most famous actress in the world and highway patrolmen bird-dogged for the governor. I miss those days, and long for a return of the time when a politician's zipper, not the FBI, was his biggest threat. So in the nostalgia of scandals of Christmases past, I have provided the following "special friends" quiz, something I believe Dickens might do if he were alive today and not too busy chasing his sister-in-law to take the time.
Each name on the left corresponds with a politician on the right. Match them up and you'll win a no-expenses paid lunch at the K&W Cafeteria in Chapel Hill. Answers will be available after January 5, 2006, on request.
| A. Alice Glass | 1. Bill Clinton |
| B. An undercover policeman | 2. Bill Clinton |
| C. Angie Dickinson | 3. Bill Clinton |
| D. Ashley Alexandra Dupre | 4. Bill Clinton |
| E. Barbara Streisand | 5. Dwight D. Eisenhower |
| F. Chandra Levy | 6. Elliot Spitzer |
| G. Donna Rice | 7. Franklin D. Roosevelt |
| H. Fanne Fox | 8. Gary Condit |
| I. Gennifer Flowers | 9. Gary Hart |
| J. Jack Ryan | 10. George H.W. Bush |
| K. Jayne Mansfield | 11. John Edwards |
| L. Jennifer Fitzgerald | 12. John F. Kennedy |
| M. Judith Campbell Exner | 13. John F. Kennedy |
| N. Kay Summersby | 14. John F. Kennedy |
| O. Lucy Mercer | 15. John F. Kennedy |
| P. Marilyn Monroe | 16. John F. Kennedy |
| Q. Marilyn Monroe | 17. Larry Craig |
| R. Mary Pinchot Meyer | 18. Lyndon B. Johnson |
| S. Megan Marshak | 19. Mark Foley |
| T. Paula Jones | 10. Mrs. Jack Ryan |
| U. Rielle Hunter | 11. Nelson Rockefeller |
| V. Sharon Stone | 12. Robert F. Kennedy |
| W. Tyson Vivyan | 13. Wilbur Mills |
Good luck!
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