Samantha and Tom Right Before Graduation

On the third day of exams, Tom ate lunch alone and was walking back to his dorm afterwards. His path home took him past the Theta house, where Nancy lived. He liked Nancy a lot an missed her sometimes but hadn’t been out with her since he'd started dating Alice May. As he walked past the Theta house, someone was parallel parking a big Mercedes across the street. He glanced over and got a flash of flying long hair that disappeared, as though someone had quickly ducked out of sight. He paused and watched for a few seconds but the head did not reappear, although the engine was still running on the car. It sounded like a diesel. He thought about going to check it out, but if she didn’t want to be seen, maybe he shouldn’t. He walked a few steps towards home, then decided something might be wrong with the woman in the car and turned back. He approached tentatively and slowly, on the sidewalk. When he got close he could see a woman lying down across the passenger seat, hard to make out through the glare on the windshield, but she had her arm over her head hiding her face. Was she hiding or in distress? He approached quietly, watched her for a few seconds, then knocked softly on the window glass. “You all right in there?” he called out. The woman inside moved her arm aside, exposing her face, and looked up, chagrined. “Hi, baby,” Samantha mouthed, sheepishly, sitting up. “Samantha! Sweetheart! What a surprise! How in the world are you?” he asked, through the glass. “I’m fine,” she said, softly. Well, at least he didn’t seem mad. “How are you?” He still looked good. He’d been working out or something. He looked really good. Shoulders and all. Goodness. Why did I break up with him? “I’m sorry, honey, I can’t hear you,” Tom said, loudly enough to be heard inside the car. She’d seen him walking down the street while she was parking her car, well, her father’s car, and felt that awful sinking feeling and didn’t know what to do, so she hid. She’d daydreamed about making up with him every day since they broke up and today as soon as she drove onto campus everything she saw reminded her of Tom and now here he was and she was paralyzed. “I’m fine,” she said, more loudly. He laughed. He was so cute when he laughed. “What?” she asked. Why was he laughing? “Sweetheart, roll down the window. Or better yet, get out of the car. I won’t bite you. I promise,” he said. She nodded, turned off the ignition, and got out. She came over and stood next to him on the sidewalk and looked up tentatively, worried. Here he was. Mercy. Had he always been this tall? She’d never wanted to break up with him and dammit all here he was wondering what she was thinking, his hands hovering in the air wondering whether it was okay for him to touch her and so she was worried but she stepped one little step closer to him and he relaxed his arms around her, gathering her in and she laid her head on his shoulder and put her arms around him and this was just where she wanted to be, oh, mercy, and they both relaxed and remembered what it felt like to be together and she let her arms squeeze him a little and why in the Hell did it never feel like this when Hank put his arms around her and oh damn oh damn oh damn where are we now? They stood like that on the sidewalk for several minutes. Both of them had their eyes closed so they didn’t notice people walking by and smiling. The longer they stood there together the more Tom remembered the way she smelled. Goodness. It was so nice to be there for a minute. Such a perfect girl. Absolute perfection. What the Hell are we going to do now? both of them thought, and pulled back to look at each other. “I thought…” he started, looking into her eyes. “No, it didn’t,” she said, shaking her head and laying it back down on his shoulder. He had no idea what that meant, but here was Samantha, in his arms. “Baby, baby, baby,” she said. Inappropriate as it might be under the circumstances, Tom felt himself becoming aroused from this close contact with this wonderful girl. “So…” he said. “I’m sorry for hiding from you, baby,” she said. “I’ve missed you so much, and I know what I did was… well, I wasn’t sure you’d want to see me, and if you didn’t, that would be so terrible. And embarrassing. For you, too, I mean.” “You thought all of that through?” he asked. “Yes. Maybe. I don’t know,” she said. They still had their arms around each other, which should have been beginning to feel a little awkward, since neither of them knew where they were with each other, friendship-wise, but didn’t. “Can I buy you a cup of coffee, or a Coke, or something?” Then Tom remembered that he was dating Alice and they were going steady and he had been enjoying having a girlfriend, but come on, this was Samantha. “Baby,” she said. “Sweetheart,” he answered. They looked at each other for a full minute. “I shouldn’t have… Oh, dammit,” she said. They were quiet again for a lot of seconds, her head back on his shoulder. “How’s your dad?” he asked. “He’s sick.” “Bad?” “Yes, sweetie. A year left, tops,” she said, and wanted to cry. Involuntarily and unconsciously, she held him tighter, for comfort. “I’m so sorry,” he said. She nodded and closed her eyes again. What to do? What to do? What to do? “How’s architecture school?” he asked. “Oh! I like that a lot!” she said. “Good,” he said. They swayed back and forth a little, arms still around each other. The notion that this was in any way awkward was hard to reconcile with what was going on. She found herself remembering being alone with him at night. Heavens, that had been fun. Stop. “Baby,” she said. “Sweetheart,” he answered. It was as though that exchange was a complete conversation. They stood there for another minute. “Baby, I’d like to catch up, but I kind of have something I have to do right now,” she said. “Okay.” “My old roommate has something she wants to talk about. A man problem, and she’s about to leave for home. I kinda need to go talk to her.” “Okay.” “But I really want to catch up with you,” she said. “I would like that.” “So how’s about I go talk to Nancy before she drives off to Louisville and then we meet somewhere in like an hour?” Unseen, Tom frowned. Nancy from Louisville? Uh-oh. “Nancy from Louisville?” he asked. “Yeah. Nancy Corcoran. I told her I’d be here in fifteen minutes thirty-five minutes ago.” Oh damn, oh damn, oh damn, oh damn, but she was looking at him in a way and tilting her head back and so he kissed her on the lips and she closed her eyes and made this sound. “Oh, honey,” he said, after. “Yeah. Me, too.” “So you really need to go talk to Nancy?” he asked. “Yes. Where do you live now?” “620 Carmichael West. The last one on the left.” “I’ll be there as fast as I can.” “I’ll be waiting.” “There’s a lot going on and I don’t know how it works out,” she said. “And how,” Tom said. “I hear you have a tall girlfriend,” Samantha said. “And you’re still wearing an engagement ring.” “Let me go talk to Nancy. I’m not sure where all of this goes but I told her to wait before she drives back so I have to go talk to her but I really want to talk to you after so I’ll run over as soon as I can. Did you start working out a lot?” “Sort of.” “You’re, um…” she started, then twiddled her fingers. “So, you’re coming over to see me after you talk to Nancy?” he asked. “Wait. You know Nancy?” “We’re friends, yes.” “What kind of friends?” she asked, frowning. “We go to movies and basketball games sometimes. Kevin’s at Yale, so she never has a date.” Samantha frowned some more and cocked an eyebrow. “Baby.” “Yes, ma’am?” “What have you been up to?” “I have a girlfriend. I have for months.” “I heard. A rich Tri-Delt nobody likes.” “Well, that’s what I’ve been up to. Who doesn’t like her?” Samantha squinted at him. “I have to go talk to Nancy. Did you screw everything up?” “How?” “Nancy was supposed to be my maid of honor.” “When you marry Hank?” She smacked him lightly on the side of his head. “Baby,” she said. “What are we doing here?” he asked. “Talking about Nancy. How many basketball games and movies?” “Some.” “Baby.” “You weren’t here.” “Dammit, baby!” “You dumped me. Told me to date other girls.” “Not my best friend!” “How was I supposed to know that? You never even showed me your dorm room, much less introduce me to your friends.” She swatted at him again to express her disapproval but laid her head back down on his shoulder. She thought for a few minutes. “You go back to your room and sit there,” she said. “Don’t grab any more girlfriends. I’m going to go talk to Nancy then I’m going to come to your dorm room and …. well, you have some explaining to do. You go back to Carmichael and don’t move. Is your girlfriend still on campus?” “You mean Alice?” “The tall girl from Cincinnati, whatever her name is.” “Yes.” “Are you going to want to introduce us?” Samantha asked. “What, introduce you to Alice May?” “You’re kidding,” Samantha said. “About what?” “Her name is Alice May?” “Yes.” “That’s the name of the boat in that poem you recite. The crematorium,” Samantha said. “Wow. Good recall.” “I bought that book, what with one thing and another, but we’re straying from the point. Do you want to introduce me to girlfriend or not?” “Why do you ask?” “Because I want to know,” she said, matter of factly. “I’m thinking that through and thinking it would be pretty weird.” “You think about that while I go fuss at Nancy.” “Fuss?” “Yes, baby, I see what happened. She talked you into sneaking off to canoodle some and now Kevin doesn’t hold up.” “I, I, um. How did … Wait. What?” “So you’re busted. You go back to your dorm room and keep your hands to yourself.” “Um, okay.” She kissed his cheek. “Just so you know, I’m going to forgive you.” “Thanks.” “Shoo. I’ll be over in a minute.” “How do you, I mean, what tipped you…” “You stick with me, baby. I’ll tell you what’s what. Now go on.” Tom, a bit dazed and not sure what had just happened, returned to his dorm. When he got on the elevator to go to his floor, Laurie from the suite next door to his ran in behind him. “Hello, Parsifal, how goes it?” she asked, cheerfully. She pressed the button for the sixth floor then turned towards him. He was staring blankly “You look confused,” she said. “Um, yeah. I just ran into an old friend. Did you know Samantha Hale?” “Of course, Tommy. We’re sorority sisters.” “Right. I forgot. Well, I just ran into her over by your sorority house.” “Wow. How was that?” There had been a lot of stories about Tom and Samantha. “Confusing,” Tom said, as the elevator reached their floor. “Poor Tom. The old flame still burns?” They stepped off the elevator and she looked at him speculatively. “Gosh, um. I’m not sure where to go with this conversation,” he said. He had promised Samantha at the time that he’d keep their romance secret, and now he was on the verge of betraying that confidence, wasn’t he? “I know you won’t admit it, but we all know about that, Tommy. Anyway, what’s up with Sam?” “She said she was going to talk to Nancy Corcoran about … something.” “Lord, have mercy. I’d like to be a fly on the wall for that conversation,” Laurie said, laughing. “What?” “You’re funny when you’re befuddled. Did you know they were roommates?” He had to think about everything he said before he said it to make sure he wasn’t spilling a secret. “No. Before today, I did not know that Samantha and Nancy had been roommates.” “You poor thing. Are you gonna see Samantha again?” “I think so, yes. She said she’d come by here after she spoke with Nancy,” he said, carefully. “Well, tell her I said hi. Come to think of it, if you need privacy, you might want to have that conversation in my room. Feel free to come by if you want to.” They were still standing in the hall in front of the elevators. “Um, why?” “Well, I don’t know what you and Sam are up to now, but what if Alice comes by while you’re up to it?” “Yes. What, indeed?” Tom frowned, then looked at the floor. Laurie watched Tom fret for a few seconds. “Come on, Tommy,” Laurie said, and, grabbing his arm, led Tom to his own room. She opened the cabinet where he kept the whiskey and glasses and poured two shots. They each picked one up. “Skol,” she said, clinking glasses. They drank back their shots. She closed her eyes and shook a bit from the fiery sensation as it went down, then poured another shot for Tom. “Drink up.” He did, and she re-filled his glass. “Here’s the lay of the land, Tommie boy. Samantha was miserable after she broke it off with you. She only did it because her father was about to die and she didn’t want to upset him by unloading that idiot Hank, who has done nothing but get dumber down at Alabama. So you need to patch it up with Sam, drop Alice, get Sam to dump Hank, and you guys go get married.” “Heavens.” “You know I’m right,” Laurie said. “Do I?” “You do. Sit and have another shot.” He poured some more bourbon and sat on the desk chair. She sat on the corner of her bed and looked at her watch. “I have to go. What are you going to do?” “Stay here and wait for Samantha.” “Good plan. Tall Cincinnati isn’t right for you.” “She’s been very nice to me,” Tom said. “I really like having a girlfriend.” “I know. Mark can hear you two through the wall and tells me all about it.” “Heavens.” “You may be laboring under the misconception that you have some secrets,” Laurie said. “Perhaps so.” “You don’t. You live in a fishbowl.” “I am not sure what to say.” “I have a meeting. You stay put, Parsifal. Talk Sam into dumping Hank and your wayward wandering days will be over.” “How did my life become so … transparent?” Tom asked. “It’s not just you ad your life. The only way to not be watched around here is to not do anything interesting. Now I have to go. Bye.” She stood suddenly and left. Okay. He poured another drink and stared at the wall contemplatively. Mark passed by in the and passed when he saw Tom. “Kinda early, isn’t it?” Mark asked, looking at the whiskey glass. “Laurie made me.” “As long as you have a good reason.” “I bumped into an old friend this afternoon and Laurie wants me to do something about it,” Tom said. “Who’s the friend?” “Samantha Hale.” “That’s her!” Mark exclaimed. “That’s who?” “Eve told me you fell in love with her really hard. When you were so upset for so long last year.” “Eve told you this?” Tom asked. “Right. But I forgot her name because I was high when she told me and then she wouldn’t tell me again because she was afraid I’d tell Melanie.” “Would you?” “Would I what?” “Would you tell Melanie if it turned out to be true that Samantha and I dated for a while?” Mark shrugged. “Not without a really good reason,” Mark said. “Like what?” Mark thought. “If I thought I might get a blowjob out of it, I would. Melanie flirts a lot but doesn’t really come across. With something like that, she might feel friendly.” “Got it.” “Probably not, though. I may be primarily a weed connection for her.” “You spend a lot of time together. She seems to like you,” Tom said. “Are you going to offer me a drink?” “Sure. Help yourself.” “Thanks. What does Laurie want you to do about Samantha Hale?” Mark poured a drink and sat on Tom’s bed. “She thinks I should talk Samantha into dumping her fiancee and then marry her.” “Wow.” Mark took a sip of his drink. “This is good.” “Thanks.” “Where are things with Alice May?” Mark asked. “We’re going steady.” “I thought so, but she hasn’t been around for a few days.” “She’s nervous about exams. She won’t see me until her tests are over because we distract each other,” Tom said. “Gotcha. When are her exams over?” “Soon. Tomorrow, I think.” “So Laurie thinks you should dump Alice and take up with Samantha?” Mark asked, sipping from his glass. “Yes. Laurie doesn’t like Alice, for some reason.” “Neither does Minnie,” Mark said. “Really?” “No. Minnie calls her tedious. Nancy calls her ‘that air-head from Cincinnati.’ Eve calls her ‘Tom’s Girl Scout.’” “Alice is perfectly charming. What do all these people have against Alice?” “She’s kinda catty. When you’re around she’s always fawning over you. When you’re gone the ‘I’m a rich girl and you’re not’ thing comes out pretty strong.” “She doesn’t fawn over me.” “Oh, yes she does. Totally.” “Why would Alice fawn over me?” “I don’t know. I guess because she wants you to think she likes you,” Mark said. “She does like me.” “Well, yeah, sure.” “No, really,” Tm insisted. “Yeah, I know.” “Fawning?” Tom asked. “Absolutely.” “Why hasn’t anyone mentioned any of this to me before?” “I dunno. You seem to be enjoying yourself. I mean, you two seem to be having sex pretty much non-stop. Hard to argue with that. I’d put up with some fawning, too, if it got me as much as she’s been giving you,” Mark said. “What do you mean by fawning, anyway?” “She doesn’t pay attention to anyone else in the room when you’re around. Always flattering and complimenting you. You know.” “No, I don’t,” That m said. “She came by last week and you weren’t home yet. I was telling her the story about the curtain calls from Richard II…” “That’s a good story,” Tom said. “Thank you And I’d just gotten to the part were we came on and nobody was clapping, then you walked in and she just hopped up as if I wasn’t in the middle of a story and skipped over to you as though I hadn’t said a word, then walked you off to your room without even saying goodbye.” “Yeah, well,” Tom said. “Can I have some more of this stuff?” Mark asked, after finishing his drink. “Sure.” “It feels slightly decadent to be drinking before lunch,” he said. “You haven’t had lunch?” Tom asked. “No.” “You lush.” “You have?” “Yes, of course. Unlike you, I understand the rules of human decorum.” “It’s kind of fun, getting buzzed on an empty stomach with nothing to do. So what are you going to do?” “I don’t think I’m going to do anything. Samantha’s still engaged, I’m dating Alice May. We graduate in a week. Trying to dramatically reshuffle all of this just doesn’t make a lot of sense.” “Yeah, Laurie really likes opera,” Mark said. “What’s that got to do with anything?” Tom asked. “She likes all those big plots where people go insane for love, or commit murders, or go into slavery and stuff. She really likes drama. So she’ll be advising you to do something that would cause a spectacle. Be careful about following her advice. One night when Preston and Melanie were having this drunken argument Laurie was trying to get Minnie to help her score it, like a tennis match.” “And you watched all this?” Tom asked. “Of course,” Mark answered, sipping his drink. “Why? That would drive me nuts.” “Well, if Preston had broken up with her, Melanie might need me to console her.” “You prince,” Tom said. “I didn’t say I was proud of myself.” “How did it work out?” Tom asked. “Preston stormed off in a huff. He’s pretty stupid already, but drunk he forgets how to add and subtract.” “Did Melanie need consoling?” “No, damn it all. She just needed weed.” “Do you know what ‘co-dependant’ means?” Tom asked. “No. That’s psych major stuff. I’m a sociology major.” “Do you know what ‘doormat’ means?” “If you’re going to call me names you need to give me another drink.” Tom refilled their glasses. “You should charge Melanie for the weed.” “And engage in base commerce? Heavens no. I am a professional. Besides, she’s fun. And what else am I going to do? Nancy already went home.” “Nancy?” Tom asked. “Nancy Fargo. My Nancy. Not your Nancy.” “I didn’t know you and Dr. Fargo were seeing each other.” “We’re not, really. More of a booty call kind of thing,” Mark said. “Got it. Who were you referring to when you said my Nancy?” “Nancy Corcoran.” “Why is she my Nancy?” “Because Eve says you guys sneak out of town to do the big nasty sometimes.” “How do you keep up with all of this stuff? How do you have any time to study?” Tom asked. “Don’t complain to me if you’re out of the loop, Tom. I need to go get something to eat to soak up all this bourbon you made me drink.” He swallowed the rest of his drink. “The dining halls are all closed.” “Maybe Melanie would like to go to Burger King.” “And then smoke more of your weed?” “No, we’d smoke before Burger King. It enhances the whole BK experience.” “Have fun.” “Thank you for the bourbon, Tom. I enjoy our little chats.” “Bye, Mark.” Mark left. Tom looked at the clock. It had been about 45 minutes since he’d left Samantha in front of the Theta house. It was just after two. He pulled The Collected Poems of Robert W. Service off the shelf and flipped to “The Cremation of Sam McGee,” although he knew it by heart. Who else in the world would have connected the dots between his relationship with Alice and this poem? She was jammed with ice, but I saw in a trice she was called the Alice May. Samantha had asked whether he was inclined to introduce Alice to her. He realized he wasn’t. Why? Because he didn’t want them to be friends? Because Alice would grill him about his feelings for Samantha and there was no way to answer honestly? Because he still thought about Samantha all the time, even at exceedingly inappropriate times? No, it was because he was still in love with Samantha, in a way that he probably wasn’t going to ever be with Alice. Damn. He refilled his glass but resolved it was his last one. He heard the elevator bell ring, but then didn’t hear anyone in the hall. So not Samantha. Maybe Mark and Melanie going out. He flipped through the book. Dresden. A gaunt and hairy man with wolfish eyes. The Ballad of Bessie’s Boil. He shelved the book and took out Yeats, but it fell open to The Gift of Harun al Rasheed, which was too much Nancy, so he put that back, too, and took out Dylan Thomas. The elevator bell rang again. It had to be Samantha, so he swallowed off his drink and listened for footsteps, but none came. Oh, well. The force that through the green fuse drives the flower drives my soul. Actually, what I’m thinking is more Tennyson. Break, break, break upon thy cold grey rocks o sea. He refilled his glass. Wasn’t the last one supposed to be the last one? He took the glasses Mark and Laurie had used to the kitchen and rinsed them out. While the water was running the elevator rang and Samantha came into the room, but he didn’t hear. She watched him as he dried the glasses with a dish towel. When he turned around he was so startled to see her he almost dropped the glasses. “Hi, baby,” she said, coming to him and wrapping her arms around him. He hugged her back, one empty glass in each hand. After hugging him for a minute she pulled back a little and looked at him with a resigned smile. He hissed her deeply and she went right along with it. After a minute, she pulled back and sighed. “I guess we have to decide what we’re doing, huh?” “I guess so,” he said. “You taste like whiskey. What are you drinking?” “George Dickel.” She took one of the glasses from him, opened the freezer, filled the glass with ice cubes. “Show me your room,” she said. She led the way as though she knew which one was his. When she got there she looked around. Less space, more bookshelves than the last one. “This is the large single in this suite?” She held out her class. He uncorked the bottle and poured her a few fingers, then gave himself some. “Yes. Even still, there’s not enough room for another chair.” “Let’s sit down and talk this through,” she said. He sat on the edge of his bed, she sat in the desk chair. “You look good,” she said. “You look perfect,” he said. “That’s so sweet. So, baby, I’m still trying to figure out how this is all your fault, but I guess it’s not.” “I’m not sure what to say, here.” “Are you trying to tell me you’re not still in love with me?” she asked. He thought. “No, I’m not trying to tell you that.” “Thank you, baby.” “How could you tell?” “We both relaxed into the hug like we belonged in it, but then you did this thing where you breathed in really deep a couple of times.” “Okay.” “Wasn’t that because you like the way I smell?” He thought for a few seconds. “Yeah,” he said. It was drawn out, a confession. “See, I’m that way about having your arms around me. It just kind of makes everything else go away.” “That’s so sweet.” “And then you didn’t want to introduce me to her.” “Yeah, I was thinking about that.” “So what do we do? We belong together but we’re with other people,” she said, hoping he’d just go with the flow. “I don’t know, sweetie. Do we?” Aw, dammit, he was going to have to work through this. “Yes, baby, we do. You saw it at the time. I couldn’t bring myself to admit it because I was afraid and worried about other people. But I'll never will stop thinking about you. Let’s make up for lost time.” Tom thought. “I love you, and always will, but sweetie, that’s not where we are. Not where I am, anyway.” “Tell me.” “I fell in love with you hard. And when you dropped me it broke my heart. I’ll always love you, but it took a long time to recover from that. I love you, but I’m a little leery, too,” Tom said. “You have every right to be, baby.” “There's this other thing, too. I’ve gone out with too many girls since we split, but Alice is the first one wanted to be my girlfriend. No matter how nice a woman is to you in private, it kind of hurts your feelings if she won't hold your hand in public. The girls I date don’t seem to get this, but it’s one thing to have sex, it’s something else entirely for the girl to be happy to be with you, to be seen with you, to be coupled up. Alice is happy to be with me. I just don’t get that much. And I like it, now that it’s here.” “I’ll drop Hank. I promise. I’ll introduce you to my parents, and friends.” “But you already didn’t. I’m the boy everybody’s ashamed to be seen in public with.” He frowned because he didn’t like his own sentence construction. “I’m not ashamed of you, baby.” “But you were. You made me promise not to touch you when we went outside.” “I’m so sorry sweetie. But that wasn’t shame,” she said. “What was it?” Oh, Jesus. She thought she’d come over and everything would be okay and they’d make up. Oh, no. “Honey, I loved you. I still love you. But Mommy and Daddy had just learned that Daddy is going to die. Much as I love you, I just couldn’t add one more thing to their stack of things to worry about. I’m so sorry. I know I hurt you.” Samantha put her drink down on the desk. Tom swallowed half of his. “You did. Worst thing that’s ever happened to me.” This was not going well, but part of her was glad losing her was the worst thing that had ever happened to him. She had been important to him. Tom stared at the floor. “Let’s get back together,” she said. “In secret?” “I’ll take it if it’s the best I can do, but no. Let me take you in.” “Part of me would love nothing better.” “I like that part,” she said. “But, honey, that’s not where we are.” “Where are we?” “You dumped me, I wandered around, and I found this really nice girl who really likes me,” he said. “Alice May?” “Yes. Who else would we be talking about?” “Nobody, I guess,” Samantha said. Not the time to bring up Nancy. “So, I have somebody. I’ve always wanted somebody.” Oh, heavens. “Sweetie, you can have me. I want to be yours.” “I’m sorry. I’m not getting to what I want to say. Maybe it’s the bourbon.” “What do you want to say?” “I will always be in love with you. You’re wonderful, perfect. But I can’t just run off with you. I’m with Alice. She’s been nothing but sweet to me. She called me up for our first date, and has been nice and cooperative and fun and has given me no reason to break up with her.” “Oh, baby.” “What have I got wrong?” She thought for a few seconds, kicking her feet. “I came over here thinking I was going to scold you about dating Nancy,” she said. “How’s Nancy?” “She’s good. She’s gone on back to Louisville, I guess.” Samantha looked at the floor for a few seconds. “I can’t do this, sweetheart,” he said. “Oh, baby.” “Sweetie, I love you, but I can’t treat Alice like she doesn’t matter. It wouldn’t be right. She’s my girlfriend.” “I’d like to be your girlfriend.” “I really, hate to say it, but I’m sorry. You got here too late. I still think about you every day, but I have a girlfriend. I can’t toss her aside when somebody new shows up.” “Sweetie.” “What?” “We belong together.” “Then why ware you wearing an engagement ring from somebody else?” “I made a mistake.” “We all do.” “I’m sorry I hurt you.” “Got it, thanks.” “So you’re not presently willing to drop Alice May to pick back up with me?” “I guess not.” “I’m also available in a side girl package,” she said. “What?” “Oh, baby. I thought I was going to swoop over here and you'd remember how good we were together and this would all just work out.” “But I have Alice.” “But we belong together.” “She’s my girlfriend. She likes me. We do stuff together. In public. I know her friends. I like being that guy. I really, really wanted to be that guy for you. I am that guy to Alice.” She leaned over and patted him on the knee, with a glum kind of smile. “I’ve known all along that I made a mistake. I’m never going to feel about Hank the way I do about you. But he’s there, and he’s been a part of our lives since I was a little girl. I know that doesn’t matter for us, in a way, but not disrupting things was important there, for a while. I always thought in the back of my mind there was a chance for us, somehow, you know?” “Sweetie, everything in the world reminds me of you. But following that impulse just wouldn’t be right. It wouldn’t be fair. I don’t like it when other people treat me like I don’t matter, and I’m not doing that to somebody else.” She nodded, took a deep breath, and blew it out in a way that puffed out her cheeks. She patted his knee again. “You said Nancy’s headed back to Louisville?” “Yeah. She told me about you two.” “She’s a great girl. It just wasn’t going to work out.” Samantha nodded again. “I don’t know what else to say, baby. I’ve been so caught up in my problems I never looked at it from anybody else’s perspective, I guess. It didn’t occur to me that I’d be asking you to be mean to somebody else.” “You have a lot on your mind. But here’s another thing. You’re the most wonderful girl in the world. It worries me that you’re with Hank if you’re not thrilled to be his. You deserve somebody you really like, want to be with. You deserve the best. And think about that from his point of view. Would he like being with a girl who wasn’t keen on him? I’m no Hank fan, but doesn’t everybody deserve a partner who wants to be with them?” She nodded silently. “I’m just thinking about Daddy and me,” she said, after a few seconds. “That’s all I’ve bothered to think through. But you’re right. Being nice to him really isn’t being nice to him, is it” “You’re a very nice person.” “Well, fiddle-de-dee,” she said. He heard the elevator ring in the hall. Must be Mark, coming back from Burger King. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to lecture you so much,” he said. “If you don’t have the right to talk to me about this stuff, who would?” she asked. She knew she was going to have to say goodbye, but wanted to stand and give him a hug before she went. They heard notion in the hall and looked up as Alice May got to the door. “Hello, sweetheart,” Tom said, standing, surprised. “You must be the girlfriend he’s been telling me about,” Samantha said, standing and extending her hand. Her eyes were teary but they hadn’t yet rolled out of her eyes. Both women smiled at each other and shook hands. “I’m Samantha Hale,” she said. “Alice May Gamble.” “All right, I guess I’ll be going. Nice to meet you Alice May. Nice talking to you, Tom. I’ll hope to see both of you later. Bye-bye.” She took her leave. “Hey,” Tom said. Had he just said no to Samantha? “Hi,” said Alice. “Who was she?” “Samantha is a theater friend from a hear or so ago. I bumped into her after lunch.” She was the most wonderful ... stop. “She’s pretty.” “That she is. Not in your league, but okay.” Alice knew he was flattering her but didn’t argue. She sat down on the bed next to him, looking unhappy. “What’s up, sweetheart?” he asked. They lay down together and she immediately snuggled up underneath his left arm, facing him. Tom was trying not to think about Samantha. “I’m done with exams,” she said, glumly. “Well, that’s good,” he said. He was a little surprised she was done so early in the week. He should have asked more questions. “No, it’s not,” she said. “What’s wrong?” “Mother says I have to be back home tomorrow night. There’s a thing I have to go to. Mrs. Pearson will be very upset if I’m not there.” “Ah, too bad.” “I really wanted to stick around here for a few days and finish the checklist before I went home,” she said. He laughed briefly. She was silent for a minute or two. “It’s too bad, but it’s not the end of the world,” Tom said. She paused and put her arm around him “Yeah, but tonight is kind of it for us,” she said. “The end of the road.” “Surely there’s some way we can see each other over the summer,” he said. “Not really,” she said. “I’m being presented this year. I’m going to have something to do every night and a lot of the days. If you came up I wouldn’t have any time to see you and I wouldn’t want to make you feel awkward about waiting around for me. You and I, we don’t make each other wait. Your feelings would be hurt.” “And you don’t need a date for any of the parties?” he asked. “Well, yeah, but the escorts are all arranged,” she said. “They’re taken from this list of eligible young men from Cincinnati. If a girl happens to be dating a guy on the list, thy can go together, but otherwise you’re just kinda thrown together.” “And next year?” he asked. “We’re going to be off in different places. I mean, I figured this was going to have to end some day, but I just thought I had a little more time with you,” she said. They lay there in silence for a few minutes. He wanted another drink. Tommy boy, damned if you haven’t done it to yourself again. I am the wound and the knife! I am the blow and the cheek! I am the limbs and the wheel, The victim and the executioner. Okay, Samantha. I thought this girl might do the trick. Young, enthusiastic, always chipper. Up until just seconds ago she always seemed devoted, too. And I thought maybe she’d stick with me because I was her first man, just like you felt you had to stick with Hank. She always seemed to want more, always wanted to spend as much time together as possible, until snip! just like that the cord is severed and I am adrift and alone again. And what I feel towards Alice May, the girl who I thought might cremate the memory of you but who has just dumped me perfunctorily, is not a tragic sense of loss, not a painful wound of impending separation, but a sense of having been unfairly treated, a sense of being someone who’s too easily left behind, so it wasn’t really like it was with you at all, was it? It wasn’t even as good as it was with Nan, because even though she, too, said no, we both had a sense that a lot could have happened there if one itsy-bitsy little thing had been different. But here I am, not crying because I’m losing Alice but talking in my head to you. What an idiot. Yeah, idiot. Think this through. Right now, Samantha, the most perfect woman in the world, is walking down the street because you just said no to her because you thought Alice loved you. Dammit all. Wait. That means... “Wait. So you’re breaking up with me?” Tom asked. “Well, that’s not the way I’d put it.” “You’re going to stop seeing me?” “We’ve still got tonight. I thought we could, you know.” “But then you’d saddle up tomorrow and ride off into the sunset and we’re done?” “Sort of.” “I think we need to make a clean break of it. Sorry. Don’t mean to be abrupt, but if we’re breaking it off, let’s be done with it.” “I’d really like one more night together. I really do like you so much.” “No, sweetheart, that wouldn’t be fair. If you’re going to amputate a limb, you don’t do it an inch at a time. Let’s be done. Sorry, you’ve been great, but let’s be done.” “I don’t know why you’re being like this.” “You’re breaking up with me, right?” “Not really. I mean, it's just over. No more time for us,” she said. “And you understand that I have thought all along that we had a future together, right?” “It’s just not going to work out. Can’t you see?” she asked, unhappily. “What I see is that if you don’t want to try, it can’t possibly work, and if you don’t want to try, I don’t want to waste time on a long goodbye. Thanks, you’ve been great, let’s get this over with.” “I guess I can see why you’d be mad. But I had a special thing I wanted to do. A checklist thing,” she said, coyly. “Honey.” “So I can’t talk you into one more night for old times’ sake?” “I really don’t want to make love to a girl who just told me she was dumping me.” “You’re not the user they say you are.” “Yeah, I get that a lot. Come on, honey.” He stood and extended his hand. She stood and he led her by the hand to the elevator. He pushed the button. “Why are you mad at me?” “I’m not mad, honey, but if you knew you weren’t going to want to keep me, you should have let me know. This has turned into another chapter a story I know pretty well and don’t like much.” The elevator got there. He kissed her on the cheek. “Thanks for everything. It’s been fun,” he said. “Golly. OK. Bye,” she said, unhappily. The doors closed. Tom returned to his room and looked out the window down at the street. No sign of either one. He swallowed off what remained of his drink and returned to the window. No sign. He turned and finished what was left of Samantha’s drink. Alice May emerged from the front of his dorm and turned left towards her sorority house rather than straight, towards her dorm. He took a swallow of bourbon straight from the bottle and dashed back to the elevator, pressing the button hurriedly. He got to the ground floor without anyone else getting on, then he sprinted to the front door and down the street to where Samantha had been parked. Her car was still there, so he slowed down a little, but then it started to move. He sprinted up to it, yelling her name, getting there just as the car pulled into the traffic lane. He pounded on the trunk lid with both fists, which caused her to slam on the brakes at the unexpected sound, then the sudden stop made him collide with the back of her car at a sprint, slamming him into the trunk and smacking his face hard on the rear window. The screech of the brakes and the loud noise of him slamming into the car made several bystanders stop and look, worried. He didn’t seem to be injured. A little dazed by the collision, maybe. Samantha put the car in park and got out hurriedly to see what was happening. He was clinging to the car, afraid it would move again, worried he’d broken a rib. She smiled when she recognized him and bent over him, close enough that she could speak softly. “Something you wanted to say, baby?” she asked. “Alice dumped me.” “So I can have you now?” “Not in secret.” She pulled him to his feet and gave him a hug. “Well, get in, then,” she said, happily. Her eyes were red and her face was streaked with tears. “One last thing.” “Okay.” “I love you and really do think you’re perfect, but you really did hurt my feelings.” “I know, baby. I’m sorry. Let’s go. We have a lot to get done. And thank you for running me down. So to speak. I was feeling pretty miserable.” “Can’t have that.” “Come on.” They got up from the back of the car and got in, him in the passenger seat. She looked at him and smiled when they were buckled in, then looked at the road, then looked at him again and smiled again, then made as if to shift into drive, then didn’t and looked at him again. “What?” he asked. “I’m doing what I do, and maybe I shouldn’t.” “What are you doing?” “I’m being cool, calm, and collected. Sassy and spunky.” There was a deodorant reference in there, but Tom didn’t bring it up. “Sounds like you.” Tom was aware that they were blocking traffic, or would be if there were any traffic. “I’m glad I had something funny to say when I found you on the back of Daddy’s car, but baby, I was so glad you were there, and I’m so glad you did that, and I don’t know if you’re blue because Alice May dumped you, but I’m so happy you’re giving me another chance and I won’t ever make you sorry you did. Baby.” “That’s sweet.” “Thank you.” “We’re blocking traffic.” “So?” “I love you, but it really did hurt my feelings to be a secret.” “Okay. I can be sensible about that.” She put the car in gear and moved into traffic lanes. “Where are we going?” he asked. “My house.” “Where your mom and dad live?” “Yep. And I have no idea how this is going to go. Tragedy, comedy, got no idea. You’re good at theater, we’ll just improvise.” “Sweetheart!” “Look, honey. Walking back to the car after meeting Alice May was really, really, solidly awful. You don’t know the half of why.” “Things are unfolding rapidly.” “You think? Here’s the deal. I have to keep you.” “I need that.” “I don’t want Hank, I don’t care if it pisses of Mommy, I hope it doesn’t kill Daddy and I don’t think it will but all those things you said are true.” “What did I say?” “You said that I deserved better than Hank, and Hank deserved better than me. And that losing me was the worst thing that had ever happened to you.” “It was.” “We’re in a funny place. But we gotta forge ahead.” “I’m game, and as fate would have it, I’m at loose ends, but what are we going to do?” She stopped the car in the middle of the street and looked at him. “I just want to be with you.” “Sounds good.” A few minutes later she spoke without stopping the car. “Didn’t you propose to me once?” “I did.” “Is it okay if I tell Mommy?” “Sure.”

Alternative Endings to a Novel You Never Read No. 1: Minnie

Picking up at p. 359 “No girl forgets her first man, but Jesus, honey. You’re so right. You have left a mark on me. Not a scar, but lots of marks. What have I ben doing?” “You’ve been having a good time,” he said. “What all girls do.” “But I missed what was really happening. Insanity. Stupidity. All right. And I’m sorry as I can be but I gotta go now,” she said. She hugged him and looked at him sadly. “I know,” he said. She kissed him and they got up and got dressed. They walked back to her dorm holding hands, aware it was the last time they would do so. Neither said anything on the way. At the doorstep she turned to him to say goodbye and she was crying. He took a folded blue bandana out of a back pocket and dabbed at her tears. She took it from him and smiled. “I know. I said no tears,” she said, drying her eyes. She tried to hand the bandana back to him. “Keep it,” he said. She nodded and smiled again, still crying. “I”m making a big mistake, aren’t I?” she said. “If it’s not there don’t force it, sweetheart.” She nodded. “Thanks for everything,” she said. “You’ve been so … you’ve been a lot. To me.” “You, too. Take care of yourself.” She nodded and turned to the door. Just before she got there, she turned around and ran back, still crying, wrapped her arms around him and gave him a long kiss, placed her palm on his chest for a few seconds, then turned to go without saying anything more. He walked home alone, wishing he could talk to Samantha about it all and realizing that was just inane. And there sat Sam, looking cool and calm in the heart of the furnace roar. She was wearing a smile you could see a mile and she said please close that door. Oh yes, please. Let me shower and wash off all the idiocy of the last year and close the door and you hold me and the rest of the world will go away. He took a shower, changed his sheets as a way of saying goodbye, and lay down on his newly-made bed with a paperback copy of Goodbye Columbus. He was tired but didn’t actually fall asleep. He finished the novel before lunchtime and got up to go to the campus bookstore. Minnie and Kelly were leaving their suite next door at the same time and they all stood together waiting for the elevator. “What’s up Marmaduke?” Minnie asked. “I need a new book to read,” he answered. “Do you read Walker Percy?” Minnie asked as the elevator came. “I liked The Moviegoer. I wasn’t as keen on The Last Gentleman.” “I can loan you Love in the Ruins and Lancelot. Honestly they’re more like The Last Gentleman than the The Moviegoer but they’re worth a read,” she said. “Well, thanks. Sure.” “I’ll bring them over this afternoon,” she said. “Or better yet, you can come over and help me finish that goddamned puzzle. The year’s almost over.” Tom stifled a yawn, feeling sheepish and a little rude for being sleepy before lunch time. “Late night?” Minnie asked, smiling. “Something like that,” Tom said. She hip-checked him playfully. “I’ll get you the books this afternoon.” The doors opened. “I’m late. Bye,” she waved and jogged off. “So where are you headed?” Kelly asked. “Book store, then lunch,” Tom said. “Meeting your freshman?” she asked. “Touchy subject,” Tom answered. “Why?” “She dumped me,” Tom said. “When? I saw her going into your suite just yesterday afternoon. Unless you’ve got some other six foot tall girl,” Kelly said. “She came over to tell me she was going back to Cincinnati and never wanted to see me again, more or less.” “Just like that?” “Just like that.” “Wow. How are you doing with it?” Kelly asked. “Surprisingly okay. Not as broken-hearted as I ought to be.” “If she dumped you, what was the late night business Minnie was teasing you bout?” “Alice didn’t leave right away after she made her unfortunate intentions clear,” Tom said. “Minnie waved to us through the front door of your suite as we left to say our sad goodbyes.” “Last night?” “Or this morning. Breaking up is hard to do.” “‘The Long Goodbye’? Or one last tour of her checklist?” Kelly said. “I don’t think we need to get into the gory details,” Tom said, “but may I remark, as I have before, that the ability of the women at this school to remain well-informed about exceptionally private matters is a constant source of surprise.” “I never saw her appeal. I mean, not for a guy like you,” Laurie said. “What kind of guy am I?” Tom asked. “Smart. Funny. Calm. Girls notice you,” Kelly said, fidgeting a little. “You’re very sweet, but I’m tired of being ‘noticed,’ as it were. In retrospect, part of Alice’s appeal was that I was her first boyfriend. Most girls want to seem older and more worldly than they are, and the younger they are, the more they want to act experienced. Not Alice. She said straight up in four different languages that she had no experience with men and had no idea what to do with me or what I was going to do for her.” “Leading her astray was fun?” Kelly asked. “Yes, but. She took the lead in that dance. Being there as she learned the steps was fun, I’ll admit. But that’s not what I’m talking about. Here’s the thing: the first time I fell in love, it was hard. I was heartbroken. As best I could tell, the girl broke it off because she needed to stay with her first boyfriend. She loved me, but she had to stick with him. Somehow she just couldn’t let him go. Then, stupid me, I started to fall in love with a terrific girl earlier this year but then she told me she had another guy, too, and we were going to have to step around that. Kinda makes a person wary. So Alice is really cute. And she seemed really interested in me. I thought maybe if I was the first guy she fell in love with, she’d maybe want to keep me around. Maybe this time I’d be that guy, rather than the other guy.” “You poor thing,” she said, then thought a few seconds. “On the other hand, from what I hear there’s been a parade of girls in and out of your room this year. What’s up with that, Don Giovanni, if you’re seeking your one true love?” “That’s true, I admit. I never really tried to pick girls up, though. Sometimes they’re telling me they want me to. Somehow I got this reputation, and it attracted ladies who wanted a discrete tickle but not a relationship. But I was trying for the real deal, I promise. There was this one girl in particular that I kept trying to ask out. Four or five times. Maybe six. When I did, she’d either have something else to do or make a date then break it, but even still, a couple of times per week she wanted me to come over for a visit at about nine o’clock. But none of that since I got serious with Alice. Not a bit. I was a good boyfriend. I was faithful and everything.” “What about Miss Nine O’Clock?” Kelly asked. “I told her I had a girlfriend. She calls every few weeks to check in bit I don’t go over any more.” Kelly thought about this. She clearly had doubts. “So you’re telling me you want a girlfriend, not a lot of girls?” Kelly asked, looking at him speculatively. “I do. The whole lots of girls thing is a mistake. A red herring, anyway. It turns out that even if what you want is truckloads of sex, it’s better and lots more fun with somebody you know and like than it can ever be with a stranger, or even a series of strangers. The second date is always better than the first, and I bet you Alice May would tell you our last date was the best one ever.” “If this is a line, it’s a good one, Maverick. I’m falling for you just talking about it,” Kelly said. “You’re sweet.” They’d reached the patio outside the book store and paused to finish their conversation. “Is it okay if I tell people Alice May is no longer your partner in the pairs competition?” Kelly asked. “Sure. It’s not a secret. Who do you plan to tell?” Tom asked. “My friends and sorority sisters are always interested in this kind of news. We like to keep up with current events. Thing is, Tommy, I’m going to be surprised if one or two ladies in my circle don’t think of themselves as being in the on deck circle of your love life. But you want an actual relationship, not another notch on the bedpost, even if it's a really cute notch?” “Of course, but really, we only have ten days left ’til graduation,” Tom said. “You’re going back to Chattanooga?” she asked. “I am.” “How far is that from Dalton?” Kelly asked. “Dalton, Georgia?” Tom asked. “Yes.” “You’re talking about Minnie?” Tom asked. “How far?” Kelly asked. “Since they opened the expressway it’s about thirty minutes from Chattanooga but my parents actually live in Ringgold.” “Sounds Wagnerian,” Kelly said. “What is it?” “It’s a little town outside Chattanooga just over the Georgia line. It’s maybe fifteen minutes from Dalton,” Tom said. “Interesting. Minnie’s story resonates with Samantha’s,” Kelly said. “Same leitmotifs. No Fisher King ailing father, though. You’ll be fine.” “Samantha?” Tom asked. “Samantha Hale, sweetie. We all know about that. We’re all suspicious about you and Nancy, too, but she’s still around so it wouldn’t be polite to talk about her. Thetas are all about the manners.” “Without commenting on rumors, you know, falling for girls who are out of my league has not been working out well for me so far.” “Out of your league in what way?” Kelly asked. “Well-bred private school girls. I’m a small-town redneck.” “There’s nobody out of your league, Maverick, Minnie and me both included. Minnie really has a thing for you. Maybe you should ask her out.” “She has a softball-sized diamond on her ring finger,” Tom said. “That story line may spook you some, but she’s just looking for an excuse to slough him off him and you fit the ‘excuse’ prescription to a fare thee well,” Kelly said, “even without going into the rumors about dosage and frequency.” “Look. You’re being very nice to me, but if I had to guess I’d say that if Minnie thinks of me at all, which seems unlikely, she sees me more as friend material than relationship material, or even fling stock.” “I think you’re wrong, Parsifal, but either way there are worse ways to spend your time. She really has a thing for you. When you guys turned up next door you were the only one she said anything about and it was clear she’d been noticing you for years. She was all flustered about it at first, but then she said you were tongue-tied and wouldn’t talk around her and she calmed down about it. I’ve seen you together and you seem to be over the tongue-tied thing. Look, honey, I’m sorry it didn’t work out with you and Alice but we all like you and none of us think Jeremy is right for Minnie so ask her out and you guys are going to get lots of positive reinforcement.” “Let me guess. He’s rich but, what? Another dumb jock?” “Yes and more, honey. Just don’t get spooked.” “I don’t scare easy, but I’m a little wary,” Tom said. “Fool me once, etc.” “I’m going to venture a diagnosis about you being tongue-tied at the beginning of the year,” Kelly said. “Yes ma’am?” “You had a crush on her and were feeling bashful at first,” she said. “Ever man has a crush on Minnie. Trust me,” Tom said. “You guys are all great, but she’s just so…” “Thought so. Gotta run. Remain calm when the surprise comes. Bye.” “What surprise?” “Don’t spook and bolt. Bye.” What in the world was she talking about? He bought a newspaper and a Newsweek magazine. He bumped into Mark and they had lunch, then afterwards walked back to the dorm together. Tom lay down on his bed to read the paper and promptly fell asleep. When he woke up about an hour later Minnie was on his desk chair, sitting on her right foot in gym shorts and an Alligator shirt, barefooted with her hair pinned up in a large barrette, wearing glasses and reading his Newsweek magazine. She looked utterly charming. “Good afternoon,” he said. “What a pleasant surprise.” “Hiya, Marmaduke,” she said. “I brought your books.” “Thank you,” he said. “Are you awake now?” “Yes, ma’am.” “Do you have a date with your drunk girl or can you come help me finish the puzzle?” she asked. “No date.” “Then get your sorry ass out of bed and let’s finish it,” she said, standing and putting Newsweek aside. “Can do.” She held out a hand and pulled him up. He ended up standing very close to her and she clearly liked that, cocking an eyebrow and smiling impishly. “Yeah, you’re cute,” he said. “Made you look,” she said, slyly. “Sweetie, you get a lot of looks.” “You’re fun. Come on. You have shirked your puzzle responsibilities for too long. Time to re-focus on what’s important while there is still time to correct this wayward drift,” she said, leading the way out of his suite down the hall to hers, which of course made him look again. Beautiful girl. They took about two hours to finish the puzzle. It had been a Christmas present for her, a crossword that was two feet wide and six feet long and had thousands of spaces. She hung it in their living room, and her crowd of friends had been working on it on and off all semester. Everyone who came to their suite was welcome to take a stab, but Minnie had noticed that Tom was particularly good at it and kept inviting him to work on it. She also secretly hoped he’d make a pass at her over the puzzle. She mainly wanted to know he was interested, but she wasn’t entirely sure what she would do if he did. The uncompleted part was the very bottom, so they were sitting cross-legged on the living room floor leaning against each other for most of the afternoon. Tom was very distracted by the contact and proximity. Minnie could tell and liked it. When they finished Minnie kissed him on the cheek. Tom stood up first and extended a hand for her, and when she stood, again they were suddenly very close to each other, and again she liked it. “Something unfortunate and difficult just occurred to me, Marmaduke,” she said, seriously, still close. “A challenge for us.” “What’s that?” “I just let you finish the whole puzzle,” she said. “It was truly a collaborative effort,” Tom said. “How am I going to get you over here now?” she asked. “Let’s discuss it over dinner,” he said. “Good idea. On campus or off?” she asked. “Off. “I don’t want to change clothes,” she said. “Not a problem if you are willing to put on footwear of some kind,” he answered. “Can do, Marmaduke.” “Rotier’s, Mickey’s, Knight Moves?” he asked. “Rotier’s for burgers, Tommy. Really,” she said, as if stating the obvious to the slow-witted. She put on flip-flops and they walked the few blocks to Rotter’s. She got a cheeseburger, he got a patty melt with fries. She ate at least half of his fries and he didn’t mind a bit. Observers would have noted that they were both quite chatty and animated. They walked back to the dorm together and she stopped at the door of her suite, smiling slyly. He realized they were pausing as if this had been a date, not dinner between friends. “So we never talked about the original issue, Marmaduke,” she said, “the underlying reason for this important bridge-building outing.” “What was that issue, Minnie?” “How do I get you to hang out with me without that big ol’ puzzle to lure you to my living room?” she asked. “I’m not ready for a clean beak and it was all I had.” “Maybe just come over and say hi. Do it a few times and I’ll know I can drop in on you, too,” he said. “Got it. You have to kiss me now,” she said. “Glad to, but why?” Tom asked. “This was a real date. You picked up the check like we were seniors in high school.” “You should guard against being overly impressed by rednecks who pick up checks on cheap dates,” he said. “Noted. Now hush up and kiss me,” she said, stepping in to him. “Can do.” he leaned his head down as for a peck but she wrapped her arms around him. The kiss was brief, but she was fully involved in it and managed to end it with a loud smacking sound. It seemed to him like he’d felt all of her through her cotton shirt and gym shorts, and his face registered surprise for a second. She smiled as though she knew what he was thinking and pulled back to look at him, still holding on. “So I can come over any time?” she asked, looking at him playfully. “Absolutely. You, um, you know I like you. You must,” he said. “I like you, too, Marmaduke,” she said. “Really. Any time, Minnie.” “What are you going to do now?” she asked, letting him go. “Push-ups, sit-ups, chin-ups, pull-ups, strong drink, start Lancelot.” “Do Love in the Ruins first. Any time, you’re sure?” she asked. “Any time.” “I’m an early riser. You’re fun. Thanks for dinner.” She kissed him again, a light peck on the cheek this time, and they parted. The next morning he was a little late waking up. He’d gotten interested inLove in the Ruins and had read until almost 2:00 a.m. When he opened his eyes and sat up Minnie was there, sitting on his desk chair, legs crossed reading Swann’s Way. How could a short girl have such long legs? “Well, hello, sweetheart,” he said. “You said any time,” she said. “And I meant it.” “Good. What are we going to do today?” she asked. “Explain, then extrapolate and delineate your question,” he said. “You took me out to dinner last night on the premise of giving me a way to get you to keep hanging out with me even though I have been rendered puzzle-less, but that conversation didn’t happen. That’s your fault. You were cute and interesting. You quoted poetry. That was new. I was defenseless.” “Since you're being so flirty and nice, I need to ask a few questions.” “Your move, Marmaduke.” “Who owns the gemstone on your ring finger?” he asked. “As I understand Georgia law, Jeremy does if we don’t get married, I do if we do. Are you worried about Jerry?” she asked. “I have some experience in this line of work,” Tom said. “Got it. And I helpfully identified last night as a real date for you. I’m good about that.” “So even though you’re doing your best to upgrade the crush I have on you from the one all boys get the minute they meet you to one that will surely grind my soul and spirit into dust when you toss me aside like a candy wrapper, you have this guy who can afford to give you a diamond the size of a baked potato.” She pulled both feet up onto the chair and rested her chin on her knees. Lovely thin thighs, slender through the hips. Deep dark brown eyes, almost black, crystal clear. My mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sun. Shakespeare, you’re an asshole. This girl’s dark eyes are exactly like the sun: bright and beautiful and clear, and almost coal black. And lips coral pink. Well, beautiful, anyway, whatever that color is. “Jerry’s a boy I met back in Georgia,” she said. “He’s from Canton, I’m from Dalton. He was a big-deal football player in high school when I met him. Then he transferred up to Baylor in Chattanooga where his brothers played…” she started. “Oh, for Christ’s sake,” Tom said. “What?” she asked. “You’re engaged to Jeremy Hannah.” “Yes. Is that a problem?” she asked. “And he’s down in Tuscaloosa playing for the Bear?” “You know a lot about Jeremy.” “I’m from Chattanooga and read the sports pages,” he said. “He has a teammate who dated a friend of mine.” He was thinking of his friend from high school Kimmy Tifton. “Who was that?” she asked. “Hank Knox,” Tom said. “Oh, for heaven’s sake. Mercy me. I’m sorry, Marmaduke, I just never thought about that.” Minnie, understandably, assumed the friend Tom was referring to was her former sorority sister, Samantha Hale, who had been engaged to Hank, last Minnie heard. Rumor was that Samantha had a secret romance with Tom before she transferred to Tulane at the end of last year. Minnie frowned briefly. Tom was still lying on his bed under the covers, suddenly self-conscious about the fact that he had on nothing but boxer shorts. She reached over and patted him on the knee. “This must make you think of all kinds of things. Sorry, baby. The Reader’s Digest version of the Jerry story is that I’m going to break up with him the next time I see him, but I can see how this might stir up some memories for you. Can’t believe I missed it. So putting that aside for now, while we think these troubling new developments through, what are you and I going to do today?” “I usually would do some exercise, then shower, then get some coffee. If you like breakfast I’d be glad to buy you one.” “Can I stay while you’re doing your exercise?” she asked. “I don’t see why not. It’s not going to be nearly as interesting as Swann’s Way, though, and Swann’s Way is deadly dull.” “Go ahead on the exercise. I’m hungry.” “You need to close your eyes while I put on pants,” he said. “No, I don’t,” she said, shaking her head. He thought for a second, then got out of bed in his boxers and put on jeans as discretely as he could. She watched, then raised her eyebrows and smiled before turning back to her book. Tom did a hundred push-ups, a hundred sit-ups, twenty-five pull-ups and fifteen chin-ups, then sat on his bed panting lightly for a few minutes. “Sweetie?” Minnie asked. “Hey,” he answered. “You need to either go take a shower now or I have to lock the door and take matters into my own hands. You may not be aware of it, but the post-workout look is a good one for you. Very effective presentation of the common College Boy In Jeans motif. It’s really, really sweet that you’re trying to remain faithful to your freakishly tall girlfriend, but get a move on or accept the consequences.” “You haven’t talked to Kelly since yesterday, have you?” he asked. “No. Why?” “Never mind. I’ll go take a shower,” Tom said. “Then we’re going to breakfast?” “Yes, ma’am. Just out of curiosity, what did you do with your morning yesterday?” Tom asked. “Honestly?” she asked. “Go for it,” he said. “Ignore what was going on in the meeting and worry that I’d left you alone with Kelly,” she said. “What was I thinking? You just can’t trust nurses. Plus, Kelly and you are a lot alike.” “Oh, for heaven's sake,” he said. “Look, Marmaduke. Baby. I’m kinda fixated on you right now. How’s about you just roll with it?” “I’ll go take a shower,” he said. “You give me an itch,” she said. “Look, there’s news you haven’t heard and I honestly don’t know what it’s going to do to us. As friends, I mean.” “That’s why you told me to talk to Kelly?” she asked. “I didn’t say that,” Tom answered. “Go take your shower, baby. We’ll get to the bottom of all this. And I'm borrowing this book." He showered, took her to breakfast at Elliston Place, then walked her back to the door of her suite. “You’re still fun,” she said. “What are we going to do about that? I wish we had another crossword puzzle to work on.” “You should have said something earlier.” “What would we have done if I had?” she asked. “Bought a newspaper,” he said. “Which one?” “Any one. Well, any one except the Wall Street Journal. The New York Times is the best.” “You picked up the check again, so you have to kiss me again,” she said. He did. It was a bit more involved the their first kiss and she obviously approved. He put his hands around her waist after a few seconds, which made her stand on her toes, excited. “You’re awfully friendly for a girl with a fiancee,” he said. “You’re developing a tendency to get distracted by irrelevant details, baby. This isn’t the first time I’ve had to talk to you about this. I’m dumping Jerry next time I see him, unless it’s graduation, which I don’t think it will be because they have some football thing at Alabama they do in spring. He really isn’t an issue for us on a go-forward basis. You just kinda need to let go of this Jerry thing you keep bringing up.” “You don’t like football?” he asked. “No, I do. And basketball and especially baseball.” “Who’s your team?” he asked. “Dodgers,” she answered. “Oh, for Christ’s sake,” he said. “Figures you’d be a Dodgers fan,” she said. “Why?” “This is starting to feel inevitable. A Presbyterian would say it’s preordained. I’m thinking we’re fools to fight it. Who are we to oppose divine will, really? Read up on your Calvin and report back. See you later, baby.” She turned and disappeared into her suite. Baby? Yeah, well, okay. That night Mark, Eddie, and Tom went to dinner together at Rand. As he usually did, Eddie had the cutlet, and dinnertime conversation focused on what, exactly it was supposed to be? Veal? Pork? Maybe even some form of poultry? When Tom got back to his room after dinner Minnie was sitting on his desk chair, wearing her gym shorts and reading glasses, working on a newspaper crossword. Her hair, usually pinned up, was down. Glossy brown with sun streaks, just longer than shoulder length. Long, graceful neck. Lordy. “Hi, sweetie,” he said. She didn’t look up as he kissed the top of her head then lay down on his bed. She really had nice legs. “Needle case,” she said. “Etui,” he said, and spelled it. “Which one did you buy?” “New York Times. I’m a Democrat. You?” “Leftie, yes.” “So I’m torn,” she said, looking up for the first time. “What are you torn between, sweetheart?” “The original objective and new ideas. What I thought I was doing with you was developing a kind of strong crush so that if you let me seduce you even though you were trying to be faithful to Proctor & Gamble I’d have an excuse to dump Jeremy.” “Heavens.” “It gets worse,” she said. “Let’s hear it.” “Then I tracked down Kelly like you told me to. She said over dinner that the deliberately childlike and extremely tedious Alice May has unexpectedly dumped you, which leaves an opening for you to scratch an itch for a smallish brown-eyed girl from Dalton without the dread sword of infidelity hanging over your virtuous head. One tumble at least, surely. Just to satisfy a curiosity for a Georgia girl has that’s been building up for a while now. Surely you’ve felt it. Rumor is you’re not averse to the occasional one-night stand anyway. So that was my plan but then Kelly corrected me in her nurse-like way and said you need a an actual real girl friend more than a one-night stand. She encouraged me to try out for it. And I want to. I like you. Turns out Kelly doesn't like Jeremy. What do you think? Did I make my case?” “You’re utterly delightful. But here’s the thing. If you want a meaningless fling we can try, but I fall in love in a hurry and I’m not looking for heartache.” “So you’re unwilling to attempt a fling?” she asked. “I’m more than okay with you. But honey, you can’t do it this way,” he said. “Can’t do what which way?” she asked. “We already care about each other. We’re friends, at least. It won’t work for us to act like we can have meaningless casual sex.” She looked at him, exasperated. “So you’re worried you’ll fall in love with me?” she asked. “Yes,” he said. “Well, get on with it!” she said. He wasn’t sure what to do with that. “For right now we're just engaging in attempted fling, but I’ll settle for true love if that’s the best we can do. Let’s go to my room, though,” she said. She took him by the hand and he followed her to her room, next door. She closed the door behind them. “So let’s make out. We’re not doing sex yet, we’re just making out in the dark with the door locked. You good with that?” She turned the lights off. "You can fall in love with me later." “Yes ma’am,” he said. She flopped down on her bed, smiling. Before she’d turned off the lights he noticed she had the same brown pincord bedspread that he did. Odd, that. It even felt familiar to lie on it. They wrapped their arms around each other and enjoyed kissing very much for fifteen or twenty minutes. His hands began to move around and she liked that. She was lean and taut and very slim, gracefully lithe at every turn. When her hands wandered under his shirt he pulled hers off. She held up hr arms to help, smiling gratefully. She had had on nothing underneath so he saw her beautiful, small ****** for the first time. “Jesus, honey,” he said, ******* them ******. She sighed gladly and murmured happy sounds. She reached down and gently ******* his ****. “Jesus back at you,” she said. She was the most active, exploratory, hungry kisser he’d ever encountered. She pulled his ****** **** and reached inside, easy as pie. “So the deal about making out and no sex?” he asked. “Oh, grow up,” she said, kissing him some more. She ****** *** *** and softly ran her hand up and down *** *****. “Now that’s a ****,” she said. They kissed for a few more minutes. She ******** his *****, he kissed her *******. They were tremendously excited, but were also both pleased and surprised to be having so much fun together so fast. Nothing was awkward, nothing tense, nothing even hesitant. After ten minutes he stood and ********* *******. He extended his hand, she held it and he pulled her to her feet quickly, flipped the covers back, then sat back down on the bed and wrapped his arms around her. She was still standing, which placed his cheek against her wonderful, flat, perfectly-shaped belly. They both made the same kind of satisfied sound. Her eyes were closed and she was smiling. He hooked his thumbs into the elastic waistband of her gym shorts and slowly **** **** *** *** *** **** ** *** ankles. Underneath she was wearing tiny, silky, lacy, ******* *******. “It stands to reason you’d have beautiful underwear,” he said. “Like it stands to reason you’d have a **** ****?” “Girls just say that,” he said. “No, we don’t,” she said. He kissed every part of her he could reach. “Take off my ********* ******* and I’ll tell you the rules,” she said. He **** **** **** to her ankles, she ******* *** ** *** then lay down next to him. She had an astonishingly beautiful ******. They wrapped their limbs around each other happily. “Rules?” he asked. “Just two,” she answered. “I love ****, but it’s foreplay, and the ****** **** in **** is **** only. No ****-**** needed." “Can do.” “You?” she asked. “No rules. I’m game. I’m thinking I’m going to want a lot of you, but I understand you classified this as a fling, so there’s a potential source of conflict,” he said. “Baby, we’ve blown right past fling and are now road-testing an intensely erotic but emotionally satisfying relationship. Want a lot of me, you said?” “Yes.” “Meaning a lot of sex?” she asked. “I do like sex. Not just that. But that, too,” he said; “What I’m looking for in round one is to ** *** right now really **** and then again tomorrow morning a ***** ****** with a prediction of * *** ! both times. I need to wait a while and let things settle down and build back up ******* !’s, but that doesn’t mean I need to be resting while we wait. I'd like to think I'm easy to work with. I’m glad to entertain myself with **** ***** ***** between !’s, but it usually takes me a few hours to charge back up. You’ll see. But you’re thinking as long as I’m cooperative you’d go more than that on this first attempt ?” “Maybe?” “Fill me in,” she said. “You’re just really exciting. But I don’t want to impose. Or press my luck either one.” “So you’re saying you plan to want me more times than once tonight and then again tomorrow morning?” she asked. “Maybe not all the time, but in this getting to know you phase of attempted fling or relationship road test or whatever stage we're up to now, probably. If you’re interested.” “Sounds fun to me. We’ll figure out how to talk about sex, Marmaduke, don’t you worry about that. I’m thinking making you happy is about to become a top item on my to-do list. We need to knock it off with the talking anyway. Come on.” They petted and fondled each other extensively for twenty minutes. He kissed her everywhere, which ******* into ****, and he figured out what she liked with that pretty fast. After ten minutes of it she pulled him up. “Time for the main event, baby,” she said, impatiently. He ****** ** and she ****** *** **. "Oh, my God," he said. “Oh, Jesus. Oh, honey. Oh, baby,” she said. “You like?” “Oh, **** yes, **** ** ** **.” He did. He watched and waited until she had a ******, ***** !!!!!!, then he had a *********, *** !!!!!!, then he collapsed ** *** ** ***, thinking something he couldn't figure out how to politely put into words. It felt different, better, doing this with her than it had with anyone else. How could that be? “Okay, so that was nice,” she said. “Oh, God, yes,” he said, still panting. “And you need more?” she asked. “It will probably be fun in a minute,” he said. “Baby?” she asked. “Yes, sweetheart?” “Go on and let me in,” she said. “Excuse me?” he said. “It’s okay, baby, you can trust me. You need to fall asleep, don’t you?” “I’m a little drowsy.” “Go on. I’ll be here.” He nodded off for twenty minutes and when he woke up she was still snuggling up against him really close. “Hey, baby,” she said, in a sin-song voice when he came to. “So,” he said, recovering his thoughts. “So?” she answered. “Every man you know is a little in love with you.” “You think?” she said. “Clearly,” he said. “I think it’s sweet that you think that. So?” “And yet you picked me for this,” he said. “Well of course,” she answered. “Why me? I’m just this guy.” She kissed him. “Because you’re the prettiest. The most in charge. Smartest. Funniest. Know the most poetry. And if I don’t grab you in this tiny little narrow window of opportunity then there’s Laurie and Kelly and God knows who else waiting in the wings. Dark haired theater girls. Vargas girl Nancy. At least Samantha’s down in New Orleans, out of harm’s way.” “I think you have a seriously misguided opinion of me. Why is that?” She reached down under the covers. “You are getting ****,” she said. “So you’re gonna wanna **** again?” “Um, well, um, I don’t want to be a nuisance,” he said. “It’s really important to me that you be ready to go tomorrow morning,” she said. She looked very serious but she didn’t stop playing with him. “Can do,” he said. “So you’re sure, even if we go again now, this thing will be ready again just after sun-up? ‘Cause I’m gonna want one of these. I have high standards, baby. I’m not just your puzzle-solving plaything any more. You have to show me you mean it.” “Cross my heart and hope to die,” he said. “Thank you, sweetie. Then I’m here for you as needed,” she said. “I like you. This is a lot of fun.” He rolled over to face her and wrapped his arms around her. “Sweetie, I’m already falling for you,” he said, then he thought. "'I have already fallen for you' would probably be more accurate." “Go head. Fall all you want,” she said. “Nobody's not stopping you.” Her hand was still on his surprisingly ***** ****. “This doesn’t usually end well for me,” he said. “But it will tonight,” she said, kissing his neck. “How so?” “It’s going to end with you ******* me some more,” she said. “I like that. A girl can get starved for something without realizing it, but once she figures out what she needs, she just needs to feed it what it wants. Wouldn’t you agree? Anyway, that’s my theory and I'm sticking to it.” “That’s good,” he said, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her deeply. Ten minutes later they were ****** **** and he paused, looking down at her. She smiled. He was thinking that she felt so different from any other girl. “There’s no polite way to say what I’m thinking,” he said. “Feels good, baby?” she asked. “Oh, yes.” “That’s sweet, baby. Keep going. Feels good to me, too.” Ten minutes later he collapsed next to her, delightedly spent. “You set an unreasonably high bar for attempted fling,” she said. “I don’t think either one of us can sensibly expect future partners to accomplish so much so quickly. It wouldn’t be fair. I can offer several solutions to this problem. Number one.” “Question,” he said, still panting. “Shoot," she answered, also breathless. “Why did you want to come over here? Why didn’t we stay in my room?” he asked. “Honestly?” she asked. “Sure.” “This is a little embarrassing,” she said. “Okay.” “So now Kelly and Laurie are going to know I have you,” she said. “Okay. Why is that embarrassing?” “It’s kind of like I’m bragging,” she said. “Mom taught me not to brag.” “You’re very sweet and I am falling in love with you far too quickly for safety but are you aware that you’re very complicated?” he said. “You think? Jerry never noticed.” “Jerry’s an idiot,” Tom said. “Why so?” “He left you alone long enough for us to find each other,” Tom said. “I’m going to be more attentive than that.” “But I'm thinking this is all part of God’s Plan for My Life. It’s like Samantha and Nancy and Jerry were all warm-ups. Practice scrimmages.” “You left out Alice,” Tom said. “Not really. She wasn’t a warm-up, she was a mistake. Ignore her. And you’re a Dodger fan, for pity’s sake. We can’t pair you up with a Reds fan. Be sensible.” “You know too much about me,” he said. “No, I don’t. If I let you go to sleep now will you be a good babycakes and make me happy again in the morning? Just a little after daybreak. We’re going to be all warm and content, you’re going to be desperate for it like you are every few hours…” “Yes, sweetie. I think the possibility that I am going to be unavailable for this purpose may safely be categorized as exceedingly remote. Or do I mean exceptionally remote?” “Because I’m really looking forward to that thing tomorrow morning. Cozy, warm, sweet, then riotous, but in a tender way,” she said. “You’re really sweet.” “You really **** big. Did you know that?” “Do you like it, sweetie?” he asked. “Oh my God, yes. It’s great,” she said. “You’re a lot of fun,” he said. “Sweet dreams, baby,” she said. He fell asleep right away, but she didn’t. She stayed awake for a while, thinking things through, then eventually drowsed off. He woke up early, at first light. She was facing him, asleep, but then she turned over in her sleep and pulled his arm over her like he was a blanket. She was warm, almost hot to the touch. After she pulled his arm over her she wrapped hers around it and made a happy, satisfied murmur, still sound asleep. He fell back asleep for a few minutes, then she shifted a little. He could feel her scoot back some to cuddle into him. “Sweetie, this just feels so right,” she said, softly. “It does,” he said. He was so doomed. On the rebound from Alice he’d jumped straight into this “fling” with the most perfect girl he knew, another rich man's daughter, who was going to toss him aside like an apple core as soon as she came to her senses. Oh well. “You’re still not relaxed, though,” she said, softly. “I’m not?” “Nope. You haven’t let me in yet. You need to,” she said. “Let you in how?” “You can trust me, baby. I’m not going to hurt you,” she said. “This isn’t instant replay, it's live action. You've never seen this game before and we don't know what's going to happen next.” “You’re very sweet. Clever and perceptive, too,” he said. She turned over to face him. “I just know my man,” she said, and kissed him. “Baby, just so you know, this is a little out of the ordinary for me. But I have to be pushy and make assumptions and prod you because we graduate in eight days. I've thought it through and I’ve decided I have to have you locked down by then. So you’re just going to have to put up with it.” “You are very confident about about our future for a woman who has promised to marry a football player,” he said. “I am, she said. “Why do you think that is? And why is this thing so hard?” she was ******** him gently and *** **** ****** involuntarily. “I’m out of my depth,” he said, “but the hardness is because you’re… Jesus.” “I’m what, baby?” she asked. 
 “You’re perfect.” “See, I think you’re perfect, too, baby. That’s why I’m so sure. Also why an excuse to dump Jerry has metamorphosed—is that the right word? into a much bigger enterprise. I’m forging ahead with it either way but I’m still wondering if me trying to rope you in so fast after you broke up with your tall girl means I’m slutty, or crazy, or something. What do you think?” “Since you’re perfect the adjective you use to describe the process or yourself is irrelevant. If this is crazy, then craziness is an aspect of perfection.” She thought about that for a few seconds, then nodded. “Can you **** on me a little and then give me this **** *** ****-**?” she asked. “Of course. Delighted.” They had a tremendous good time. He was figuring out what she liked and was able to pace himself so that he was ready to !!!!!! immediately after she !!!!!!ed, which was fun. “I don’t know how to put this,” he said afterward. “I don’t even know if I should say it out loud, but it’s extremely complimentary.” She propped her head up on an elbow. “Out with it, Marmaduke,” she said. “I really don’t know how to put it.” “Quote Shakespeare,” she said. “He’s not this graphic, and he’s pretty pissy about his girlfriends. This is just different,” he said. “I’m all agog,” she said. “Let me try it this way. I would imagine that every man with whom a woman ***** **** feels different, just because their bodies are different,” he said. “‘With whom.’ Nice. Your observation is true, in my limited experience.” “And to focus the discussion a little, so each guy has a different *****,” he said. “Like a fingerprint.” “Also true. In that regard, you have a very satisfying fingerprint,” she said. “A related thing is true. Women are all different,” Tom said. “Stands to reason,” she said. “I mean, how to put it, ******. You, in particular, **** so ****,” he said. She laughed briefly, laid her head on his chest, and ******* **** to ****** him some more. “It’s like you’re ************ unique in some way,” he said. “So you were worried that telling me something you like about me would sound too crude?” she asked, ********* him. “I guess.” “Sweetie, we’re lovers now,” she said. “Okay.” “You can talk dirty to me. Nobody else can, but you can, and I’ll like it,” she said. “You’re so sweet.” “So repeat after me. I like your *****.” “I love your *****,” he said. “Not quite naughty enough to make the point, I guess,” she said. “Say, ‘I like ****** your ****,’” she said, seriously, as though they were discussing foreign affairs. “You have the most ***********, **********, ******* **** in the history of womankind and I am absolutely euphoric that you are sharing yourself with me,” he said. He paused for a few seconds while she smiled at him and ******* with him some more. “What do you call it?” he asked. "Oh, I'm not particular. ******. My ********. And baby when you're ** ** or ****** ** ***** you can call it whatever you want. Don't be self-conscious because you're not feeling genteel. Now this thing needs its own ZIP code, so surely it has a name. What do you call it?” “I, um, I … I don’t have a name for it.” “So I get to christen it?” she asked. “If you want to,” he said. “Of course I do. An opportunity like this only comes around once in a lifetime,” she said, seriously. She **** **** ** *** ***, then thought a few seconds. “I dub thee Clarence,” she said, ******* it three times, which caused him to **** on each ****. “Oh, so Clarence is sensitive,” she said. She **** *** **** *** ***** as far as she could, ******* him with her ****** for a minute or two, then paused to say something. “Now sweetie, when I said last night that **** *** ******** I was talking about myself. You already ****** me *** real nice this morning so if you wanted me to ****** *** **** ****, that would be fine.” She resumed ******* ** *** slowly and methodically. “Actually, I’m kind of the same way you are,” he said. “You like to ****** in a baby-making way?” she said. “Not literally, I hope, not yet,” he said, opening his eyes, and she smiled at him even with her mouth full of him. “I’m on *** ****, baby, so **** ** ******* big one.” He did, and she was delighted with it. When he was done and was breathless at her side she hugged him, but had a question. ‘Sweetie?” she asked. “Hey sweetheart. You’re really fun. Everything about you is perfect.” “I can tell you think so and I love it,” she said. “But is four times a day normal for you?” she asked. “Just twice today. And twice yesterday,” he said. “So really that’s twice a day, so far.” “So the answer to my question is yes?” “You’re really cooperative,” he said. “And will continue to be. So, yes?” “I’m not really caught up in counting number of times. I’m really enjoying falling in love with you,” he said. “So four times a day is normal for you?” she asked. “I guess it could be. I’d need a really cooperative girl,” he said. “You have one, Romeo.” “This is a fling, though.” “You’re not stupid, baby, so you know better. So you like it four times a day?” “With someone as perfect as you, sure,” he said. “I had no idea what I was walking into,” she said. “And?” he asked. “It’s heavenly. Nobody’s going to believe me, though. I can’t even brag about it,” she said. “You’re also really good as a cuddle. I don’t remember ever noticing that in a girl before,” he said, settling into her. “I need to go pee,” she said. “Then snuggle?” he asked. He realized for the first time that what he was saying would sound extremely silly to anyone who overheard. He was so screwed. “Yes. Until I get so hungry I can’t stand it.” She stood and put on his polo shirt, which reached down almost to her knees. She opened the door and stepped into the hall just as Laurie passed. Laurie could see there was someone in Minnie’s room before Minnie closed the door. “Tom?” Laurie asked. “Yes. Dibs” “Damn. And?” Laurie asked, as Minnie closed the door. “Oh, my God,” Minnie said. “After just one night?” Laurie asked. “And one very busy morning. I’m just never letting go of this,” Minnie said. “You keep away.” So she had succeeded in developing the crush that would allow her to dump Jeremy, Tom thought. She came back in a few minutes, closed the door and locked it, then pulled off his shirt, knowing he’d love the view. They spent another 45 minutes with their arms around each other. Eventually she got hungry. They got up and got dressed, managing to make lots of contact as they did. They decided to go to breakfast at IHOP. Laurie and Priscilla were drinking coffee in the dining area of the suite and waved teasingly as they passed through. Neither Tom nor Minnie were inclined to invite anyone else to come along. After breakfast, Tom had a theater committee meeting to select award winners and she had a planning meeting for a sorority banquet. “Oh, and you need to be my date to the banquet,” she said. “Put that on your calendar. Thursday night.” “I don’t have a calendar, but Thursday’s fine. So we’re going out in public together?” he asked. “Of course, Marmaduke. What do you think this is?” “We could just be really friendly. You’re still engaged. I can see the engagement ring from here. That guy on the other side of the quad is shielding his eyes from the glare. I think low-flying aircraft could spot it.” He scanned the skies, looking for a plane. She held out her hand and and looked at her ring. “Yeah, you kinda got a point about that, Romeo. But you’re still my date at the election banquet.” “That’s a ΚΑΘ thing?” “Yes, but don’t worry. Nancy went back to Louisville yesterday. Once I get to know you better I’m going to calm down. Well, some, anyway, and we’re going to have a good time, babe,” she said. “You just need to relax. Me, too, but for a different reason.” She kissed him goodbye with a smile and they went to their separate meetings. He dropped in at her suite to look for her at dinner time but she wasn’t there, then looked in again after dinner, but she still wasn’t home. Mark and Melanie were watching TV, fairly stoned. Melanie was wearing sunglasses. “What are you watching?” Tom asked. A commercial was playing. “I’m not sure,” Mark said. “What are we watching?” “Something about the Korean War,” Melanie said. “Oh, yeah. That’s right. M*A*S*H,” Mark said. “See you later. If Minnie comes back, tell her I came by,” Tom said. “Are you and she, you know?” Mark asked. “I think we’re experimenting,” Tom said. “He’s fibbing,” Melanie said. “Priscilla said when they came out of Minnie’s room this morning they were all over each other like ugly on a ape. And Tommy, just so you know, you’re both noisy so we all know when you’re making whoopie. Which they do a lot," she said to Mark. “Thanks,” Tom said. “Who’s the guy who rolls up his hat?” Melanie asked, returning her attention to the TV. “Dunno,” Mark said. “B.J. Honeycutt,” Tom said. “B.J.? Really?” Melanie. “You’d think his mother would have thought that through. Doctor B.J." "Maybe that's what patients expect of him,” Mark said, eating a handful of popcorn. Melanie slapped him softly without looking at him and reached for more popcorn. “Later, guys,” Tom said, taking his leave. He returned to his room. The door was shut and the lights were off, which wasn’t the way he'd left things. He opened the door but as he reached for the light switch, he saw Minnie’s eyes peeking above the covers, so didn’t turn the lights on. “Hiya, Marmaduke,” she said. He closed the door and locked it behind him. “Hello, Minnie, my dear.” “Was this bad?” she asked. “More fantastic than bad, and more delightful than fantastic.” “I thought I’d come by and see if you wanted company,” she said. “I am very glad to see you,” Tom said. He kicked his shoes of and prepared to lie down beside her. “No, no,” she said. “Not allowed.” “What’s not allowed?” “You’re not allowed into our bed with all those street clothes on. Do you snore?” Tom started undressing himself and dropping his clothes to the floor in the dark. “Nobody’s ever told me I do.” When he was undressed he slid into bed. She was wearing tiny panties and a tiny, silky bra. “I left my unmentionables on because you liked them so much last night but then I turned the lights out and you can’t see.” He wrapped his arms around her and she kissed him very thoroughly. “Clarence seems ready for action,” she said, pressing in. “My God you feel good,” he said. “You say that a lot,” she said. “Very endearing. Keep it up.” “I am so screwed,” he said. “How are you screwed baby?’ “One possible interpretation of events is that I was on the rebound from Alice May and you were trying to be on the rebound from the Hannah boy and we just landed in each other’s arms.” “That’s exactly what happened,” she said. "Maybe a little more orchestrated than that, but you got the gist. Is there a problem?” “I guess the most immediate peril is that you’re going to realize some day soon that I’m just another unemployed factory worker with no money and no prospects,” he said. “I’m more fixed on the fact that you’re a great kisser and smart as a whip and funny. And then there’s Clarence. And all your quotes. How do you know all that? These are all things that warrant in-depth investigation before the blue-ribbon panel can conclude that you’re ‘just another’ anything. When were you a factory worker?” she asked. “Summers. Here’s the thing. We’re different. This worries me.” “No, we’re not. We’re each exactly the same everywhere that matters. We’re both Dodger fans. We’re Democrats. We both like books. You have a great big wing-wang and it turns out I've always wanted one. Who knew? What are the chances? We both love puzzles. We both know how many children we want,” she said. “Wait. What?” “You think a perfect family size is four children,” she said. “How did you know that?” “Because you grew up Catholic with one sister and saw your friends from big families and always thought it looked like fun.” “You’re Catholic, too?” “We could hardly conclude this was inevitable if I weren’t, now could I?” she said, patiently. “But honestly, Marmaduke, I’ve spent the whole day thinking about how much fun it was having you make love to me so you need to get to it.” “That means I have to take off your beautiful underwear,” he said. “Not really, but if that’s your plan, get on with it.” “Can do.” His assumptions about relationships were right in at least one respect: as he and Minnie began to work things out, sex was better each time they tried it. Their second night together began delightfully. Afterwards she was panting harder than he was. She patted him gently while she caught her breath. “So what was it you were worried about?” she asked. “Something about us being different. I didn’t mean to cut you off but I needed a treatment too bad to be able to think straight. Before you I’d been with that one guy for a long time he just didn’t affect me like this. It’s catching me off guard.” “Just one guy for you?” he asked. “More or less. There were a couple of times when he was mean and said he was breaking up with me when I may have made a few alcohol-related mistakes, but pretty much just Jeremy.” “For how long?” he asked. “Six years.” “Wow.” “Okay, baby, so let’s talk brass tacks. I have to keep this train moving to have you in place by graduation. I’m sure you understand. I like this wild, passionate, do-me-again thing we’ve got going better than anything I’ve ever had. Like, in my life. All my best memories are the last 24 hours.” She paused and counted on her fingers for a few seconds. “Maybe 26 hours, or 27 tops. But still you don’t relax with me. You’re guarded, which I’m thinking means you’e fearful of something, and if so we want to figure it out. I have a theory about you but I’m not sure about it.” “What’s your theory?” he asked. “Let’s hold off on that. I’m probably wrong. But what’s this thing you started on about us being different? And then you can do that to me again as soon as we talk this through.” “A fabulous plan,” he said. “Do I know how to motivate my guy, or what?” she said. Now out with it.” “It’s just occurred to me that there might be a class distinction thing in my woman problems.” “Interesting premise. Keep talking,” she said. “I’m from a blue collar family. My sister was the first person in my extended family to apply to college. Dad drives trucks and does odd jobs. He works at the bottle plant when they’re running full capacity but gets laid off as soon as they cut back.” “I didn’t know any of that. And I didn’t have have any sense that we’re different,” she said. “Still don’t. So it’s possible that’s something that you worry about people seeing that nobody’s else is seeing. You’re not different from everybody else, sweetie. You don’t stand out in a crowd except for being more scrumptious. Maybe you don’t actually need to worry about that.” “That’s nice, but I do. I can’t help it. I went to Chattanooga City High. It’s a good school, but trig was the highest math offered. You guys all went to great private schools and could speak Latin and French before you got to college. I don’t know how to play golf or tennis or how to ski. I’m not really sure what bridge is, other than a card game. I don’t know what fork to use if there’s more than one. You’re beautiful and glamorous and I feel so lucky to be here, with you, to feel your warmth, your perfect figure, your delectable kisses. But I also feel like I don’t really belong here, and if I don’t belong here, you must belong with someone else. I’m already head over heels in love with you, so you don’t have to worry about me leaving you. But it’s kind of ingrained in me to worry that you’re going to have to leave me.” “Baby! Sweetheart! No, I’m not. You poor thing,” she said. “I’m hearing you have that experience, but that’s not what we’re up to. New plan, new girl, new rules. Devotion and permanency.” “Sounds wonderful. Let’s hope. Thing is, at heart I’m a factory worker. Another guy punching a clock. You’re a stockbroker’s daughter. I know I read more than most factory workers, but coming home tired, knowing I put in a hard day’s work, pride in knowing I could handle the foundry pit better than anybody else, that’s how I think of myself. Country club girls don’t seem to want to stick with me, which makes sense. You don’t need to introduce a foundry worker to your mom and dad. I’ve tried to parse it out more specifically than that but I can’t figure out what I’ve been doing wrong, what chases girls off. Honestly, though, even though they don’t stick with me, the girls I’ve dated have been way too nice to explain it to me, even if they were sure exactly what it was. Which they may not be. But the simplest explanation is that there’s some way that I just don’t fit in, something I’m unaware of but you guys can see or sense. Some subtle signal that there’s been grease under my fingernails, maybe, that eventually runs you off.” “No, sweetie,” she said, wrapping her arms around him with a concerned look on her face. “Nope. There is no such thing. We need to figure out how to get you to leave that notion alone.” “But there must be—” he started. “No, there isn't. Baby, you’re smooth as silk with the manners of a born to the blood prince. It’s not just me. All my girlfriends love you. Laurie and Kelly call you Maverick. There’s nothing missing from you at all, baby. You fit in with me and all my friends just fine,” her voice had a slightly pleading tone. “And us with you and your friends. We’re just the same, you and me. The ways you’re different, you’re better.” “Maverick?” he asked. “TV show from the sixties. He was this smooth-talking gambler who had a way with the ladies. There’s nothing at all wrong with your table manners. Golf is for Republican assholes. I’m from Georgia, so I don’t know how to ski and don’t want to. I've played hearts with you and you’re good at cards so if you want to play bridge, Laurie and Kelly can teach us how. None of this stuff you say you don’t know matters a hill of beans, baby. I’m captivated by you, if you haven’t noticed, and I have high standards for captivation. Oh—one thing. I’m not a stockbroker’s daughter, I’m an insurance broker’s daughter, and as of three weeks from today, I am working full time for the brokerage. One thing I can tell you is that I can’t place worker’s comp for foundries or tanneries either one with admitted carriers without a retro premium underwriting plan.” “You lost me, but that would have lost Lloyd.” “Lloyd?” she asked. “Owns place in London.” he said. “Funny. What I meant was, the foundry you worked in was a really dangerous place to work and you are not going back there.” “Okay.” “You need to to keep all your fingers and toes, both eyes, and your hearing. Think of our children.” “The main problem was back injuries and burns,” he said. “Aha!” “I’m not used to being told what to do,” he said. “And?” “You're good at it. Stern, but with supporting evidence and sweetness.” “So?” “This is all delightful, but you still have this other guy’s ring on,” he said. “No, I don’t,” she said. It’s just dark so you can’t see.” She held her left hand up and he kissed her ring finger, which was bare. “I like that, sweetie. I really don’t like being the other man,” he said. “So before two days ago my impression of you was that you were cool and tough and smart and funny,” she said. “What do you think now?” “That plus too worried and sweet as pie and really good in bed. Gotta get you unworried fast. What’s a girl to do?” “Just out of curiosity, what's your field of study?” he asked “Double major,” she said. “Psychology and what?” he asked. “Business.” “Why weren’t we in Psych courses together?” “We were. We were in 101, Social, and Drugs and Human Behavior together.” He thought back. Those were all big classes with more than a hundred students each. “Gosh. Sorry. I don’t remember.” “I come in late a lot. Sit in back. There was this little dark-haired floozy with hussy-sized hooters who was always sitting next to you, waving them at you.” “That was Eve. She actually has an interesting history,” Tom said. “No, she doesn’t,” Minnie said. “You forget all about her. You’ve noticed her way too much already.” “Sweetie, you have a way of occupying all of a guy’s attention. I’m kind of, I don’t know. This doesn’t happen to me. Not much I mean. I just…” “It’s okay baby. You can go ahead. I’m safe. Now are you sleepy?” she asked. “I kind of am,” he said. “Uh-huh.” “What?” he asked. “You just needed to relax, baby. You’re not done but we'll get you there. You’re safe with me. It’s all going to work out fine.” “You’re very reassuring,” he said. “Good.” “But I don’t understand,” he said. “I think I’ve figured out what’s going on with you but I can’t figure out how to show you what’s what. You are partly off in the clouds sweet and dreamy but partly hard-headed and really concrete, like blueprints and bricks concrete. You need proof, like a lawyer does, and I haven't figured out how to give you that.” “But you’re sure you’re going to break up with the Hannah brother?” “That makes him sound like a member of a country music trio. But yep, Jerry’s in the rear-view mirror, from your perspective. I really couldn’t do this, anyway,” she said. “Do what?” he asked. “Have you and somebody else. Not sure how that would work. How could I stomach somebody else if I have you? It doesn’t make sense. I’d just be wanting you.” “You have such an elaborate view of our relationship,” he said. “You said I was complicated, Romeo, and the case notes suggest you may be right. So it would stand to reason that you’d have to be, too, for the whole inevitability thing to stay balanced,” she said, and put her arms around his neck, smiling slyly. “I love you, sweetie,” he said. “Glad to hear it. Love you, too, baby.” She kissed him one last time and he fell asleep. She stayed awake for a while again, thinking things through, but eventually nodded off. He woke up once in the night, at about three. They were spooned under the covers, each with one of Tom’s two pillows. He scooted slightly closer to her and hugged her slightly, and she murmured contentedly and snuggled back without waking up. When he woke up in the morning she was awake but he couldn’t tell, so he tried to remain as still as possible, enjoying her warmth and her scent. “Are you awake?” she whispered a few minutes later. “Yes. Good morning, sweetheart,” he said, and kissed her shoulder. “Because Clarence has been awake for a while,” she said. “It’s wild.” “Oops.” “No. It’s great. Even if my theory is right, you are the horniest Marmaduke in all of East Tennessee, which is really just what the doctor ordered. And it occurred to me last night when I was thinking things through, you’re not even really from Tennessee, are you? You’re from Georgia.” “Well, I was born in Chattanooga, but I grew up in Georgia. I went to City High, so in high school most of my friends were in Chattanooga.” “I think you’re from Georgia and that’s another thing we have in common. Now usually my inclination would be to take Clarence for a walk bright and early, but overnight I’ve figured out something I have to do. So, regretfully, I’m going to get up and get dressed. You just stay put for a few minutes.” “Can do.” She got up and put on her beautiful pale blue panties and bra. “Wow,” Tom said. “I thought you’d like that.” “Where are you going?” he asked. “I’m not going anywhere, assuming it’s okay for me to use your phone,” she said, pulling on her gym shorts. “Mi casa es su casa,” he said. “Tu casa,” she said. “I’m good with languages. And if you say that to me again I’m taking it as a marriage proposal.” He smiled. She pulled on her Alligator shirt. “I’ll bear that in mind. Why do you have to get dressed if you’re not going out?” “I have to talk to some people and it wouldn’t be right to talk to them naked,” she said. “Here goes. Wish me luck.” “Good luck, my dearest Minnie.” She dialed a number in the 205 area code. “Hiya, Marmaduke. It’s me. How are you doing?” She said into the phone. Tom was a little surprised to learn that he wasn't her only Marmaduke. He couldn’t hear the other voice. “Yeah, Sports Illustrated says you’re gonna go in the first or second round. That’s great!” She listened for fifteen seconds. “St Louis, then. Boston and Green Bay are too cold for you.” Pause. “Hey, look. Are you planning on coming up for my graduation next week?” Pause. “No, that’s okay, hon. I know the Bear demands a lot.” Pause. “I kinda want to talk to you about that. Look hon, with all this draft talk and attention you’re getting, wouldn’t it it really be better for you to be unattached, honestly? I mean, I realized yesterday that I haven’t seen you since Christmas and we haven’t talked since March…” she paused. “No, no, that’s okay. I don’t mean to sound like I’m complaining. I know you’re busy. But it seems to me that there’s a clue in there for us somewhere. That maybe we’re not quite as keen on each other as we used to be. You’re about to start on a big adventure. I’m about to be in the way.” Pause. “It’s okay to agree, hon. You’re not hurting my feelings if you’re stating the obvious.” Pause. “I bet not for long. A first round pick? You can find you a Dallas Cowgirl.” She listened for a few minutes and nodded her head a few times. “So you’re okay with this?” She listened for a few seconds. “Good. Thanks for being so understanding. Do you want me to send the ring to your Tuscaloosa address or to Canton?” Pause. “Oh, okay. To your mom? Are you going to tell her or do you need me to?” Okay. “I’ve always loved your mom and dad. Thanks again, hon. And thanks for a lot of good years.” She hung up, then looked at Tom. Tears were forming in his eyes. “That went pretty well,” she said. “So why do you think you’re getting emotional?” “So now it’s possible for me to be the guy, and not the other guy,” he said. “I thought that was bugging you. Duh,” she said, smacking her head. “And yep, now you’re the guy. No other guy. No need for one. You occupy the position and you seem to have the skills to keep it for the foreseeable future.” “I don’t know why I’m reacting so emotionally. I should be just happy,” he said. “You should have taken Dr. Izzard’s Emotions class. You’d be all over this. Also, Just so you know, when Clarence and I were waiting for you to wake I realized up I was worried Jerry was going to resist, that he wasn’t going to want to do a mutual breakup. If he did that I was going to have to be completely honest and tell him I’d found a new man so I was dumping him anyway, and that would have hurt his feelings. I didn’t do anything dishonest, but I didn’t have to be like that. You know? He’s not bad, he’s just not you. That’s not his fault. There are a lot of things that are his fault, but he can’t change that, bless his heart.” “Did you have to root for Alabama when you were dating him?” Tom asked. “I did! Even when they were playing us or Georgia. Now I don’t have to do that any more. Than you, sweetie. I didn’t think of that. This thing with you is just coming up roses every which way!” she bent over and kissed him. “How you doing, Romeo?” “Waking back up.” “I’m keenly interested in having you further minister to my needs, but I have another call I need to make. Also important, but more in a ‘can’t have this hanging over my head’ kind of way.” She looked him, glanced down and frowned, then reached out and patted him briefly through the covers. “Goodness,” she said. She turned back to the phone and dialed a 405 number. Georgia. “Hi, Mom,” she said. Pause. “No, nothing’s wrong, exactly. I know I usually call on Sunday but I have news.” Short pause. “Yeah, I’ve broken it off with Jeremy.” Pause. “No, I’m okay. We don’t call each other. We don’t write any more. We just drifted apart. It’s been several years, always a long way apart. And then I met this new guy I really like and I want to see where that goes and that really isn’t fair, either to the new guy or to Jerry. I’ve never been a sneaky girl and I don’t want to be one now.” Pause. “I know you did, I did, too, Mom, but he’s going to be drafted into the pros and even before I started seeing Tom, I wasn’t sure I wanted to be an NFL wife. All that traveling and moving around. And the more he sticks with this big-time football thing, the tougher he seems to think he has to act. Plus, he spits on the sidewalk now. Now he says he doesnn’t want go to RCIA. Over Christmas he was asking if I couldn’t become a Baptist. Even back when he seemed a little more enthusiastic about me, I never could get him to talk about an actual wedding date, or even a concept for a date, like a year after we graduate, or in the off-season after he turned pro. I think he had cold feet from the get-go.” Pause. “I know you do. I offered to call her and tell her, but he said that he’d do it, and he’s going to have to actually do it because he told me to send the ring back to her. How much should I insure it for?” Pause. “Wow. Okay.” Pause. “Tom. Tom O’Malley. The cutest English major on the face of the earth. He says he’s from Chattanooga but he’s really from Ringgold.” Pause. “I haven’t met them but he said his dad is a truck driver. Honest labor, unlike us.” Pause. Oh, of course. I’ll introduce you when you come up for graduation.” Pause. “I did. Three A’s and two B’s, so no trouble there.” she looked at Tom. He held up five fingers. “Tom got five A’s. He’s smart.” Pause. “He doesn’t have a job lined up yet but he’s smart and handsome and charming. He’ll find something fast.” Pause. “Not a bad idea. Thanks, Mom. Love you, too.” She hung up the phone, stood, stretched and looked down at him. “That was my Mom. Her name is Margaret and her friends call her Meg. Her birthday is September 9. Easy to remember—9/9. I’m gonna run to the restroom before the next item on the agenda.” “Has anybody ever told you you’re perfect?” He asked. She smiled and waved bye-bye then unlocked the door and opened it. Mark was passing. “Hi Mark,” she said. “Can you check for me to make sure the bathroom’s empty? I need to pee and don’t want to scare anybody.” “Sure.” Mark left, told her the coast was clear, and she locked the bathroom door behind her. Mark returned to Tom’s door. “Experimenting, you said?” Mark asked. “That’s what I thought, but she broke up with the other guy and she’s saying she wants us to pair up for real,” Tom answered. “Be careful. She’s nice, but you’re rebounding from Alice,” Mark said. “I know. And she’s rebounding from the football player. But is rebounding still a bad idea if she’s absolutely perfect? You know her. She’s irresistible. We all love her.” “Fair point.” They could hear the bathroom door open and Minnie returned to the door. “Hiya, Markmaduke. What are you and my Tommy talking about?” she asked Mark. “Tom was just telling me you’re perfect,” Mark answered. “He’s wrong about that but I’m perfect for him,” she said. “Now shoo. I have important matters to discuss with him.” Mark smiled, waved and departed. She closed and locked the door, immediately pulling off her shorts and shirt, revealing the beautiful, pale blue underwear and her perfect, trim figure. “I was going to take a turn. But not now,” he said. “Wow.” “A turn at what, Romeo?” she asked, climbing into bed with him. “I was going to call my mom and tell her I have a new girlfriend but then you showed me your beautiful, tiny underwear.” “Sweetie I don’t know you well enough yet to know if you have a thing about lingerie. If you do, that’s fine. I love it that you like mine so much. But if you like it you don’t have to take it off to make me happy, if you get my drift. It’s flexible.” “I think we can take this off so I can kiss these, but maybe this moves aside enough,” he started. “Ooo,” she said, happily surprised at multiple contacts. “Thought so. Mmmm.” “By the way, um, last night while you were getting your perfect self into my bed,” he said, between kisses, “I dropped by your suite looking for you before I came back here. Melanie and Mark were watching TV. She said we’re pretty loud. She said they, um, know when we’re having a good time.” “Really? Hmmm,” she said, massaging him gently in a way that they both knew would render him speechless very quickly. He was tickling and kissing her, as well. Her head was back and her eyes were closed. “Jesus, honey,” he said. “You are so easy to please, baby. Yeah, see? You’re all relaxed now. Except for the nice part of you that isn't. Hmmm.” She enjoyed the sensations for a while, then opened her eyes and looked at him. “You I know, I’ve been thinking about it, and we’re just not going to worry about whether people can hear us when we’re having fun. They know what we're doing when we lock the door. Why should we care if they know we’re doing it right? So do some more of that thing you were doing a minute ago where you were coming in from the side and kiss me some more wherever you like.” “Can do.” About an hour later they got up and walked to the dining hall, holding hands. It would be hard to say who was talking the most. A week later they were eating popcorn and watching TV in the living room of her suite. She looked at him. “What?” he asked. “I just realized something,” she said. “What did you realize, Minnie my dear?” “This is the reason to get married,” she said. “What’s that?” “This is so much fun. I don’t think I’ve ever in my life spent so much time with one person as I have with you this week. No classes, nothing to do where we couldn’t take a date. Edenic, idyllic. But then it just occurred to me that we’re going to graduate in a few days and thinking that was the first time since we finished the crossword puzzle that I’ve been sad. I’m not going to have you all the time any more. I really like having you all to myself.” “I know, it’s bad. But I’ll only live fifteen minutes away,” he said. “And on the bright side, I’ll be unemployed.” “But it’s not going to be all day every day for us. I’ve had so much fun,” she said. “It’s been like a getting-to-know-you honeymoon.” “You’re sweet.” “Yeah, I am. God in bed, too,” she said, eating some more popcorn. “I’m not going away, sweetie. Not without a protective order. You said something right at the first about how you had a theory about me. Did you figure out if it was right?” “Yeah, I think it is,” she said. “Spill," he said. “Look, it doesn’t matter because even if I’m completely wrong, I love you to pieces. But it occurred to me that when you have a willing playmate you are just ravenous for sex. Four, five times a day. You also drink a lot. Or you used to. You haven’t been doing that so much the last week. Was that a conscious decision?” “I hadn’t thought about it, no. You’re right. I’d usually have a drink before I do anything else in the evening. Waiting for a date, reading, doing laundry. I just don’t seem to do that any more. I don't think I've had a drink all week. For some reason I’ve stopped being an Irishman. How weird.” “I think it’s all related, baby.” “Sex and drinking?” Tom asked. “Well, it could be. Hear me out. You took Clinical Psych?” she asked. “Sure.” “And I know you took Drugs and Human Behavior. So you know that sometimes people drink or do drugs to numb themselves,” she said. “Sure. And I do tend to drink more when a girl has just dumped me,” he said. “It’s okay, Marmaduke, we’re just talking. And in our first few days, when that over-developed adolescent Alice had just left you, you needed me all the time. You were desperate for it. It’s not like Alice had been starving you for it, but still you needed me constantly. It was hard to get dressed to go out to eat when you were around. Which was a lot of fun. Still is. I've never had a boy who could even keep up before, and you wear me out every day. So my first thought was that you’d been dropped so many times by so many girls you thought you had to make hay while the sun shines before I dumped you, too, which would make sense. Because you do like sex. But since you drank a lot, too, it occurred to me that sex might be another way of not thinking about what was worrying you. Blotting it out.” “Wow,” he said. “It’s okay, baby. I don’t have a lot invested in this. I’d be fine with being wrong. Either way, this whole relationship thing is working out just fine,” she said. “Go on. This is interesting. ” “I also could feel it that you were guarded. You didn’t relax all the way, even after we just had the best sex of a lifetime. Jesus, you do that good. I thought about what I could to to make things better, and it occurred to me that I was still wearing Jerry’s ring. Which was dumb but I started this whole thing out thinking that I was trying to talk you into a roll in the hay. That's all I thought I was after until Kelly told me I needed to to aim higher and apply for a permanent position. Should have done that a day earlier, so we can blame her for the tardiness of my ring-removal. Actually, we probably can’t, but I was thinking it through on the fly and you’re real distracting. So I put the ring away and you were better, but you were still guarded. You told me you didn’t feel like you fit in with girls like me, but you have so many friends. You’re popular. I’ve heard girls talk about you when you’re not around and nobody talks about where you went to high school. Nobody thinks you don’t have your manners. ‘He looks good and he’s smart, but did you know he can’t play golf?’ That’s kinda far-fetched, and since you’re smart that may be a stand-in for something else.” “What’s it a stand-in for?” he asked. “I think your brain is asking 'Why doesn’t she love me? I love her and I don’t understand why she doesn’t loved me back.’ When you love her, anyway. I know you’ve been in love before I don’t think you really loved Alice. You wanted to, but you can’t possibly have managed to.” “Something like the wishing she did and not understanding why she can’t flashes across from time to time. Love me back, I mean,” he said. “Yeah! So I needed to give you proof that I did. We could wait a long while and you’d become confident over time, but I didn’t have much time to work with, and I wanted to show you right now that I loved you.” “So you called Jeremy while I was in the room.” “That was for you. Then I called Mommy for me. Psychologically, that cut the cord all the way around. Snip, snip. So we could be the one and only for each other. And then you relaxed. You still like making love with me, and we do it a lot, which is really nice, but it’s sweet. It’s not desperate. You’re not so intense. You’re just enjoying yourself, enjoying us.” “Enjoying you. I hadn’t thought about it, but you’re right. It doesn’t occur to me that you’re not going to be around tomorrow, or even later today.” She patted his arm. “Nope. You just needed to feel loved. But it’s like it goes deeper than that. It’s like you never felt loved ever before now. It’s like you had a bad childhood, or something. Were you adopted, maybe?” “There’s something from my childhood, but maybe we should wait a few years before we talk about that,” he said. “Oh!” she said, and her eyes teared up. “What?” “You just said the sweetest thing,” she said. “What?” “In a second. Why do we need to wait for you to tell me what hurt you?” she asked. “Because the people involved are all good people. It bothered me, but there are no bad guys in the story, and I want you to know them well enough to know that before you hear the story. What did I say that was so sweet?” “You said you know we’re getting married,” she said. “How do you know these things?” he asked. “You said you needed to wait a few years to tell me something.” “True. I need to find a job, and you need to make sure you’re comfortable being with the likes of me.” “What’s the concern, Marmaduke?” “Well, you’re still on the rebound. And my my family’s pretty unique,” he said. “It’s not a concern, really. We’re good people but we’re kind of redneck-y and may take some getting used to. I do have a kick-ass genius lesbian sister.” “What a hoot!” she said. “But baby, if your parents were Joseph Stalin and Cruella Deville you’d still be the man for me. And you’ll find a job. Just not at that foundry.” “It makes sense that you see things I don’t," he said. “Nobody sees themselves, so self-analysis is never complete, they said in Clinical. it’s nice to have that kind of friend, but it’s new. It catches me off guard, as you might say.” “Understanding you is also fun. Oh—baby, you can drink as much as you want and we can have as much sex as you like. I didn’t mean to mom you. We were just talking.” “I don’t need to be watchful any more," he said. “Not around me, anyway. Told you this would work,” she said. “I like saying ‘I told you so,’ by the way. And you’re not going to mind a bit because of all the honeypot I’m going to give you every time I say it.” He kissed her on the cheek. She smiled and un-muted the TV. They graduated three days later. Her parents, Bob and Meg Walker, came up the day before and took Tom an Minnie to dinner. Tom was a hit with both of them. Bob had never said so to Minnie, but he’d never liked Jeremy. A big lummox. Not good enough for his girl. This new one had promise. Tom’s parents came up the next day and they all went to lunch together. Everybody got along just fine. “Mrs. O’Malley, can I say I really like your wedding band,” Minnie said, after. “Oh, that,” she said. “Its a Irish wedding ring. It was my mother’s.” “I’ve never seen one like it before,” Minnie said. “Well you hang around us Irish and you will. They’s all over the place, but this’n is special to me ‘cause of the family connection. Th’ tradition is that turned the other way, it’s an engagement ring, and the girl puts it back on right side up when she says ‘I do.’” “What a neat solution to a problem,” Minnie said. “What’s the problem?” Mrs. O’Malley asked. “I don’t like engagement rings. That big diamond thing always seemed kind of tacky. Like you’re being bought. That’s so much sweeter. Same ring does both.” His mother smiled knowingly. “Lotta Irish is poor folks, hon. Not much risk of diamonds springin’ up. But I hear what you’re sayin’, I always thought it was a nice custom, too. Ain’t no call for young folks to worrin’ about jewelry.” “My mom’s maiden name was Murphy. They were farmers from Canton, Georgia.” Tom’s mother brightened. “You don’t say? Don’t that beat all? My mama’s people was from down that way. They sharecropped cotton. She said times was hard but they got by.” “I never got to know my grandparents. My grandfather died when my mom was in college, and my grandma died when I was too young to remember her. But he was a cotton farmer, too. Cotton and peanuts.” “And she got to college?” Tom’s mom said, lighting a cigarette. “Yes, ma’m. She was a WAVE during the War. A nurse’s aid on a hospital ship. She went to Georgia on the G.I. Bill.” “Well, wasn’t she smart!” “She’s a keeper,” Minnie said. A few minutes later she had to leave to go meet her own parents before the ceremony. “One more thing before I go. Mr. and Mrs. O’Malley, I know you were planning to take Tom back to Ringgold today.” “That’s the plan,” Tom said. He didn’t know where she was going with this. “We’re actually allowed to stay in the dorm until tomorrow. As a favor to me, would you leave him here for one more day? I promise to drive him home tomorrow and get him back to you safe and sound.” “Why, sure, sweetie,” his mom said, smiling. “You have a car?” Tom asked. “Not really. Mom and Dad drove up separately but want to drive back together. Thank you so much. All right. Gotta run. Pleasure meeting you both. Bye, hon,” she said, giving Tom a kiss. His parents watched her leave. “She’s a cutie. You two are real sweet on each other, looks like,” his mother said. “Yes ma’am, we are.” “She got you over that one that broke your heart, looks like,” she said. Tom thought, and was surprised at his conclusion. “I guess you’re right. I don’t think about Samantha any more. I hadn’t realized that until you just mentioned it. I used to think about her all the time. Since Minnie and I started seeing each other It just doesn’t happen.” “Is she Catholic?” “Yes, ma’am, she is.” “You hang on to that girl, baby boy.” They graduated the next day, he'd hands when they said goodbye to their parents holding, and had one last day alone together. Most of their friends had already gone home, so it was just them, and they made the most of it, which for them was just hanging out together, kissing and making love a lot, one last burger at Rooter’s and one last breakfast at Elliston Place. She dropped him off in Ringgold late the next afternoon, and for the next week or two, she drove up or he drove down every few days, but they rarely had any privacy. She was taking two weeks off before starting her job at her father’s insurance brokerage, he was filling out job applications at banks and insurance companies and reading the help wanted ads. A week later she called in the afternoon on a Thursday. “Hiya, Marmaduke. can you scoot down here for dinner tonight? Somebody I want you to meet,”she said. “Of course, Minnie, my dear. Who is it?” “My uncle Howard. He never married so he comes over for dinner most Thursdays.” “Okay, I’ll be right down.” He changed clothes and drove down. Uncle Howard was pleasant and seemed to enjoy Tom’s sense of humor. Minnie and Tom each had a beer while Howard and Minnie’s dad had a whiskey or two. After making introductions, Minnie disappeared into the kitchen to help her mom. “So Minerva tells me you’re looking for a job?” Howard asked. “Yes, sir. Just graduated last week. Filling out a lot of applications,” Tom answered. “And Minerva’s working for you?” Howard asked Minnie’s dad. “Yes, she is. She’s worked with us for the last few summers. Customers like her. Every time she goes back to school I get calls from people who want to talk to her, thinking she was their broker. She understands the business real good, and I’m real glad to have her. Real glad.” “What kind of places are you applying to, Tom?” Howard asked. “Mostly banks and insurance companies, so far,” he answered. “Is it a coincidence that they’re all financial services companies?” Howard asked. “It is to the extent that’s because they’re the ones I’ve been interested in that advertised in the Chattanooga Times." Minnie’s mom called them to dinner. They said grace before eating, which wasn’t the case in all his friends’ homes. It was the first time he’d had dinner at their house, so he was a little more formal than he would have been otherwise. It seemed like Howard had a lot of questions, but Tom was mainly interested in making a good impression on Minnie’s parents. After dinner Tom wanted to hep clean up, but Mrs. Walker shooed both Tom and Minnie out of the kitchen. “You two young people haven’t had a minute to yourselves since you got here. Go sit on the front porch or something.” “Thank you, Mrs. Walker. Dinner was delicious.” “You’re sweet to say so. Go on,” she said. Howard and Minnie’s dad were sitting in the living room. Minnie stuck her head in. “Tom and I are going to take a walk, then Tom has to drive back home,” Minnie said. This was a surprise to Tom. “Thanks for coming down, Tom,” said Minnie’s dad. “Tom, if you’re leaving, can I ask you a quick question?” Howard asked. “Sure.” “Let’s step in here,” Howard said, standing and walking a few quick steps to the study, closing the door behind them. “Son, I don’t mean to be too pushy, but Minerva speaks very highly of you and you seem to have a good head on your shoulders.” “Why, thank you, sir.” “I didn’t want to put you on the spot in front of your girl and Bob, but ave you ever thought about being a stockbroker?” Howard asked. “Yes, sir, I have. Merrill Lynch has been advertising that they have a training class starting next month. I was going to apply, but like I said, I’m an English major.” “You said Psychology, too, right?” “Yes, sir.” “I was a Psych major, too. On the G.I. Bill, just after World War II.” Howard said. “Look, son, understanding what’s important to your clients is a lot more important than understanding corporate finance in my line of work. Most salesmen never get that. I’m with Merrill. The company’s got a great research department and everything is there to look up. Go ahead and put in an application.” He pulled a business card from his shirt pocket. “Say you were a Psych major, or at least put it down first. Use me as a reference,” he said, handing Tom his card, “and I’ll connect the dots for them. Take the training, work at it for a few months, if you don’t like it, nobody’s going to be mad if you move on. But if you do like it, and happen to develop an interest in working down here, we can think about moving you to the Dalton office.” “Wow! Thank you so much, Mr. Walker.” “No problem,” Howard said, shaking his hand. “Your girl’s waiting. And you just got your first lesson in sales.” “The card thing?” Tom asked. “She said you were smart.” “So it’s always there if you need it?” Tom asked. “Yes, siree. If you always have a few in your shirt pocket, the customer will have yours in his hand while the competition is still reaching for his wallet.” “I’ll remember. And thanks so much for this.” “Girl’s still waiting.” “Thank you, sir.” They returned to the living room, and he and Minnie made their goodbyes. As soon as she closed to front door behind them she wrapped her arms about him, stood on her tip-toes and gave him a long, hot kiss. Kisses from Minnie felt strong. “I want to hear what Howard had to say but first a big helping of this,” she said, tilting her head back and pulling him close. Every few minutes she made a whimpering sound in her throat. They kissed for ten or twelve minutes, then she gave a sigh of relief and pulled back a little. “Let’s walk down the driveway to where it’s a little darker and more private. What did Uncle Howard want to say?” “He’s encouraging me to apply to Merrill Lynch,” Tom said. “I wondered if he would, but I didn’t want either of you to think I was pushing you into something. Are you going to apply?” “Sure. I’m not sure I have the right major, but the way he put it, that might not be as important as I thought. He said I could use him as a reference.” “He’s a sweetie. And here’s the thing. Howard’s a pretty successful guy. He lives high. He goes to New Orleans or San Francisco or New York at least once a month. Stays in four-star hotels. He owns a houseboat. Sometimes Daddy and Howard talk about how long it is until they can retire. They built up good businesses that they're proud of. They want to hand it off to someone, not shut it down when they retire or try to sell customers they like to a stranger. I’m really lucky. I like the insurance business, and Daddy has one he’s ready to retire from. It’s all complicated and you have to understand a lot of different things to make it work for the customer, but that’s what makes it interesting. When I gathered up my gumption at the end of last summer to tell Daddy that I wanted to come into the business with him if he’d have me he was as happy as I’ve ever seen him, like I was doing him this enormous favor. He and Mommy want to spend more time traveling and goofing off. And I think Howard wants the same thing.” “Don’t you have a brother?” Tom asked. “Yeah, but he’s a lawyer with a big New York firm. He was always ready for bright city lights. I love him, but we’re different as lemons and toad-frogs.” “You seem to like it there.” “I do. If you need to go somewhere else, we’ll go, but this will always be home, and if you can find it in your heart to stay here, you’ll make me the happiest hot-to-trot girlfriend in all of North Georgia and East Tennessee. Back to Howard. Apparently last Thursday I couldn’t shut up about you. Mom and Dad and Howard all thought it was cute. Here’s the thing. Dad’s had five stockbrokers in the last six years. And Dad hates change,” she said. “He doesn’t use Howard?” Tom asked. “No, Dad’s pretty private. He didn’t let on that he'd always hoped I'd take over the family business until after I told him I wanted to. He and Howard started out poor and they’ve always been a little competitive with each other. They both put themselves through college on the G.I. Bill, working in the carpet mills in the summertime. That is hot, sweaty work. What am I talking to you about that for? You worked in a foundry pit and liked it. Despite the fact that that fact alone would prove beyond any reasonable doubt to any sane girl that you are not right in the head, I love you to pieces. Where was I?” “Stockbrokers,” Tom said. “So I asked Daddy once when he was complaining about his stockbroker being a purblind idiot why he didn’t just use Howard and he hemmed and hawed and dodged me the way you men do when you know the answer but don’t want to say. I got the impression that he didn’t want Howard to know how much money he and Mommy have.” “So your conclusion is that there aren’t any good stockbrokers in Dalton except Uncle Howard?” “Bingo. I always said you were smart. I think Howard wants to hand his business off to someone, or at least sell it to somebody he trusts. He likes you. He likes me. It’s possible that handing it off to you might be keeping it in the family.” “From your lips to God’s ears,” Tom said. “People say that, but do you think God has ears? What would he need them for? He already knows everything. Anyway, that problem at least, the in the family one, is uniquely yours to fix, Romeo,” she said. Tom stepped back a pace and held her hand formally. “Minnie Walker, will you…” he began. She leapt back into his arms happily but put her hand over his mouth so he couldn’t finish. “No, no! You have to wait! I’m sorry. I didn’t know you’d take me up on it so fast!” she laughed, hugging him. “You are just the bestest babycakes ever. Here’s the thing. Mommy was never keen on Jeremy but she really likes Jeremy’s mom. They were K∆s together at Georgia. And before she met you the one thing she said was that she thought I was getting pretty serious with a guy I’d only been dating for a few weeks. And she’s right, I am, but, well, that’s life. So gimme a few months for her to be sure you're the real deal. She loves you, she’s just being a mom.” “And I can’t propose and you keep it a secret?” Tom asked. “No, no! The minute you propose, I have to accept, and the minute I accept, I have to tell my mom. I love my mom.” “Okay. In that case maybe we should make out a little more,” he said. “Good idea,” she answered, and they did, for five or six minutes. “I been meaning to ask. You busy tomorrow?” she asked. “For the morning. I need to drive up to Merrill Lynch and apply. I don’t want your uncle to think I’m not appreciative.” “Such a thoughtful babycakes,” she said. “How about the rest of the weekend?” “I was hoping to see you as much as possible. Take you out to dinner? See a movie? Take you someplace private and try to make you see stars? But no plans. I should have asked you sooner. I apologize for taking for granted that you were available. You deserve better.” “How’s this for taking you for granted? I come pick you up tomorrow afternoon at three. We drive to Chattanooga, check into the Read House, then you remind me what the letter O stands for a few times, then show me around Chattanooga a little when I’m not pulling your pants off.” “Sounds perfect. Thank you, thank you, thank you.” They made out for fifteen more minutes. “There’s also going to be a summertime surprise for you tomorrow,” she said, a few minutes later, smiling a little shyly. “What kind of surprise?” he asked. “A very personal surprise,” she said. “You’re not through kissing me, though, are you? I can’t believe you’d think you’re done with this.” They made out for ten more minutes. Because they knew they couldn’t do much more with it, their hands were relatively still, but there was some reflexive groping and squeezing. They really enjoyed kissing each other. “The mosquitoes have found me and I guess it’s late,” she said. “It is. I love you. Why did you set it up this way, by the way, with me leaving from here? I didn’t thank your mom.” “I needed to kiss you a lot,” she said. “Thank you for that,” he said. “And let’s check on Clarence,” she said, looking down. “There he is! Waving hi to the crowd!” She waved. “Hi Clarence. Good to know you’re feeling strong. Wanna go say hi to the parents?” “It’s almost as if you know me, Miss Walker,” Tom said. “Knowing you is my job, Romeo, and I like my job.” “Three o’clock. Such a wonderful idea. Thank you,” he said, hugging her again. They kissed good night and he opened the car door. “I try not to go on about it but I’ve been missing you a lot. I already miss college,” he said. “Me, too, baby. See you tomorrow.” Tom filled out an application at Merrill Lynch the next morning. When he got home he told his mother that he and Minnie were going away for the weekend. Somewhat surprisingly, she didn’t ask any questions about where they were going or what they were going to do. He packed his gym bag with clothes and his shaving kit. Minnie got there ten minutes early. She chatted with his mom for a few minutes and still there were no questions about where they were going or what they were going to do. “What was the deal about a summertime surprise?” he asked, when they were on the road. “Oh, it’s just a little little grooming change. I think you’ll like it. Hey, I meant to ask. Did Nancy call you, by any chance?” she asked. “Nancy who?” “Nancy Corcoran,” he said. “Oh, gosh no. I haven’t talked to her in months.” He’d pretty much stopped seeing her when he started dating Alice. “But of course you guys were in the same sorority.” “Yeah, we weren’t close, really, and she was a year behind us. She called me out of the blue a few days ago. It was kind of a funny call.” “What’s up with her?” “She’d heard that we had hooked up and asked if I was still dating you, and I said yes, and she said “Darn,” or something similar. She said she’d heard from Ellie Brigsdale that you and Alice had broken up and then she’d tried to call you a few times right after but you were never in, so she called Laurie, because she knew we lived right next door.” “The way you guys keep each other informed about what’s going on never ceases to amaze.” “So Nancy asks Laurie if she’d seen you recently, and Laurie said yes, just a few minutes ago. And Nancy said she’d been wondering if you’d already gone home because she’d been trying to call for several days and Laurie said, and I quote ‘No, the reason you can’t get him in his room is because he’s always over here having loud sex with Minnie. It’s getting annoying.’” “That’s hilarious,” Tom said. “Nancy was sweet. She congratulated me for catching you.” “She’s a really nice girl.” “You know she’s still in love with you, right?” Minnie asked. Tom thought for a few seconds. “Love, I don’t know. Nancy and I had an unusual kind of friendship. I do love you and don’t ever want to avoid talking about things with you, but I kind of promised her I’d keep some secrets for her.” 
 “I know, sweetie. She told me all about it. She also told me to be sure I wanted you because you fall in love fast and your heart beaks hard. I told her the first part had already happened and I was really glad it did.” “And how. Nancy’s a really nice girl. It just wasn’t going to work out between us,” he said. Minnie thought for a few minutes. “I also have to admit she was part of the reason I was afraid you wouldn’t be interested in me,” she said. “Of course I'm interested in you. There is no man on earth who’s not interested in you,” Tom said. “You’re sweet but so many of your girls have been so … you know. Big up top. Nancy, Samantha. That dark-haired tart in Psych class.” “They’re all pretty, for sure. All great people. But there’s only one girl who’s perfect,” Tom said. “That’s a good answer. As long as you’re talking about me.” “The one and only. But why did you think Nancy was going to call me?” Tom asked. “She said she’d been trying to. She’d called all the O’Malleys in the Chattanooga phone book and none of them knew you. I told her that was because you’re not really from Chattanooga, you’re a good Georgian from Ringgold.” “And you thought she’d call Ringgold information to track me down even though she knows I have you?” Tom was puzzled. “Oh, no, I gave her your phone number. Your address, too,” she said. “That was trusting of you,” he said. “You’re a sweetheart.” “You’re my baby. I hope I’d know if other girls were a temptation for you, but this is still new. A little bit new. About falling in love fast, though, she’s right. I could tell I had you from the the start. When you took my shirt off and saw my A-cup girls you looked like it was Christmas at the orphanage. That was so nice.” “You got that right. Lord, so beautiful. Always perfection but so breathtaking that first time.” “Your reaction was very endearing. See, that’s a thing a girl could get a complex about.” “About what?” “The breast thing. Boys, you know. They like what they like. Jerry asked asked a couple of times if I’d consider implants,” she said, after a pause. “What a dick,” Tom said, shaking his head. “I sure hope the answer is no,” he said. "Perfection cannot be improved upon. Especially by changing the shape of those beautiful breasts.” “I knew you were perfect. Anyway, see, Jerry and I started dating in high school. I’m sure he thought I’d fill out. He used to call me Minnie Mouse.” “You did. You filled out perfectly. And there is nothing, and I mean nothing, remotely mousey about you.” “We’re almost there, baby. Is this the exit?” “Yes, ma’am. Turn right at the light then it’s two blocks down. It’s like I got a checklist. Everything I could want in one woman. Great sense of humor? Check. Perfect figure? Most fun person to talk to of all time? Check and check. Beautiful, pert, delightfully sensitive breasts? Check. Best kisser of all time?” “I think any time there’s a lull in conversation you can pick that checklist thing up again, baby, but I think we’re here.” “I’ve never been here as a hotel guest before. I’ve only been to the bar. I’m not sure where we’re supposed to park.” They found the parking garage and checked in on his credit card, which pleased her for some reason, and carried their bags to a quiet, well-furnished, nicely air conditioned room on the third floor. As soon as they closed the door behind them their arms were around each other. He put his right hand on her perfect behind and hugged her in, she put her arms around his neck and pulled up towards him. She was so light that it was no effort for him to stand straight up, carrying her weight with him and picking her feet off the floor. “Goodness!” she said, with a happy expression. Jerry had been big and strong but not at all romantic and so this had ever happened to her before. With her feet still off the ground, Tom kissed her neck and collarbones, and with a delighted expression she leaned back in his grasp to start unbuttoning his shirt, feet still in the air. He gently lowered her to the floor sh she could finish, then he gently pulled her Alligator shirt over her head. They looked at each other for a few seconds, smiling, then he dropped both their shirts to the carpet. Her slacks unzipped at a side pocket, which he’d never dealt with before, which made her smile. With such reputation as a rake, and he’d never figured out a side zipper. He it got it with a bit of exploration and she slid the slacks to the floor. He was naked and she was wearing only her delightfully skimpy pink bra and panties. “I need a Clarence treatment real bad,” she said. “Good. We need you.” She turned and bent at the waist to turn back the covers. “Oh, my God, honey,” he said. She looked over her shoulder, smiling. “Like that view?” she asked. “My God, yes.” “Let’s make a note of that,” she said, slipping into bed. “Come on.” “You have such delightful taste in undergarments,” he said, unhooking her bra. “It’s always a shame to take them off.” He put the bra at the foot of the bed and wrapped his arms around her again. “But I have to feel this, and in a minute I’m going to have to kiss them. Beautiful and sheer but I just have a really strong need for the direct contact.”
 “I’m betting you’re going to want to take it all off today,” she said, giggling slightly, then closing her eyes and leaning her head back, loving the sensations of their embrace. His hands began to wander around on her as he kissed her breasts. “What are you going to surprise me with?” he asked. They were so pent up after a week without privacy that he thought she might be ***** ** ** already, so he **** *** **** **** her toned, flat tummy and ******* his **** **** her **** ******* ****** underwear. His eyes popped open and he smiled. He **** ** ******* and she giggled sheepishly. “I do that in the summer,” she said. “So I don’t have to worry about what shows in a bathing suit. You like it?” She giggled some more. “Oh, my God, honey. I have to see this,” he said, ****** ** *** ***** and ******** her ******* ***. She was ****** completely ******. “Most fun surprise ever,” he said, kissing her everywhere **** *****, wet ******, dry ******, ********, deep ****** with lots of ******. She responded excitedly to all of it, then after a few minutes he could feel the playfulness give way to more ***** ******, so he concentrated on what he thought she liked best, and found it a lot easier to be **** he was ***** what she ****** than it would have been ****** *** ******** ******. She was just so easy to **** and to ****. She started to tremble **** *** *** ***** ****** * !!!!!! while he was still ***** ****, which was a first. He’d **** ** *** *** lots before but generally after a few minutes *** ****** *** ** because she liked to !!!!! from ***********. This time she didn’t pull him up and she !!!! with no *********** ** *** in just a few minutes, intense and gasping but not loud. After she !!!!!!!! he remained motionless, waiting on her for a few seconds, then ****** ******* with the *** of his ******, which made her *****, then she pulled him up to her for a big, deep, hard kiss. “You are the best **** ever, baby. And after all that I still really want ********. You’ve surprised me once already today, let’s see what else you got.” He ********** himself and ******* **** *** in one ****, **** ****. “Jesus that feels good,” she said, luxuriating in sensation. He paused **** ******, then pressed ***** a little ****** and she responded with a big ******* from her ***** ********. He responded as though to an electric shock. “My God, honey! What was that?” he asked, astonished. “Just a little **** ********,” she said, doing it three or four more times. He gasped each time. “Found something you like, looks like. There’s a lot more of that in your future, honey, but I’m feeling like if you ** ** **** you may *** ** ** *****.” Easy as a gymnast on a balance beam, she rotated her legs ** and ******* *** calves ** *** *********. “Now come on, baby.” She liked ****** **** ******* **** *** faster ** *** *** ****** and he could tell she was ***** ** *** ***** so he **** ***, then she ********* him hard **** **** wave ** *** !!!!!!, so his ***** **** *** ******* and then **** ********* ** *** *** ********. Just a few seconds later she spoke, panting. “Baby, I have to pass out for a minute but before I do, please, please, honey, please promise you won’t ever leave me. I could never have another lover. Never.” “Will never think about leaving you,” he said. They both fell asleep for at least half an hour. They woke up a little slowly, and needed to pull each other closer every few seconds, as though they just couldn't get close enough. “I think it may be egotistical of me to say," she said, "but I wouldn't mind being your everything." "You are, beautiful." "Even if Nancy calls?” “Even if Nancy calls.” There was a lull. “I’m no genius,” he said, more slowly, “but I know a good thing when I see it, and there’s no way I can do better than this. Not ever.” He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close again. His speech was slow, almost drowsy. “This feeling of being loved by this perfect girl, it’s the warmest, best experience of my life. I’ll do anything to keep you,” he said. “You have nothing to worry about. Nothing at all.” “I’m not worried, exactly, babycakes. I’m not an insecure girl. I’ve just been thinking since she called. You’re real popular with the ladies. You’re going to have a lot of opportunities, me or no me.” “I don’ think I’ll tempted by anyone else. You occupy all of my attention. But even if I were, I wouldn’t ever do anything stupid, that would risk this thing,” he said. “It's just too sweet. It would just be too stupid.” “You’re pretty confident for a boy on his second date. Very sensible. Keep it up. ” She seemed to doze off again, but then not quite a minute later she spoke. “I don’t want to talk about other girls any more. I’m a lucky lady who just got lucky. Twice. God Almighty, you’re a lot of fun.” She snuggled up to him and seemed to fall back asleep for a few minutes. He drifted off into that maybe awake, maybe asleep state. A few minutes later she stretched happily. “So what do you want for your reward?” she asked. “What reward is that?” “Reward for ******* ** *** bigger than ever in my whole ******* **** twice in a row,” she said. “Never happened before, so you’re the best, which we already knew, but mmm’ boy howdy.” “Maybe you could sit around with no clothes on ad let me look at you,” he said. “No, I mean something really fun,” she said. “That would be really fun.” “If you’re not going to help, I’ll have to think of something on my own,” she said, happily. “How’s Clarence?” “Still having a hard time believing what you did to him a few minutes ago. I can hardly believe it myself.” “I like Clarence,” she said. “He is smitten with you,” Tom said. “A question.” “Christ is the answer,” she said. “Apropos of nothing, were you telling the truth when you said you liked my mom’s wedding ring, and that you don’t like diamonds?” he asked. “Yeah, sure. I really liked it that the same ring was both wedding and engagement. That thing about wearing a big rock that the boy gives you to show you’re claimed has never felt right to me. Boys don’t wear a ring to show they’re taken, at least not until they’re married, and some men don’t do it even then. It all just seems out of balance. A ring that does both just seems so sweet.” “So hypothetically, if someone were to propose to you in a few months, or after he has a job, you really don’t want a diamond engagement ring? People magazine called and the public wants to know.” “No, sweetie. I don’t want a diamond engagement ring. I had one, and it would take a while until the new one stopped reminding me of the old one. Nothing else about you reminds me of him, so don’t do anything to start.” “I want you to have what you want. And I don’t have any money right now anyway, but if I ever do, I don’t want people to think I don’t love you enough to give you nice things.” “How open and direct are we comfortable with about things other than hopes and dreams and sex?” “I’m guessing pretty much direct and extremely open. Let’s give it a try.” “I’m bettin’ you’re going to be a success. Either the thing with Uncle Howard will work out or something else will. That was open. Here’s frank: even if it takes a long time for you to get ahead, with me taking over my dad’s insurance business, we’re going to be all right. Pressure’s off. You don’t have to make millions for us to be happy, to get by. We’re gonna be okay.” “But if I do make money?” “I think jewels are pretty, I just don’t like rings,” “Aha! Thank you, Minnie, my dear. I love simple rules! Easy to apply and easier to remember.” “I never had much, we’re not a fancy family, but it’s pretty. But it should be simple. I really don’t like people who present themselves so their jewelry is the first thing you see.” “No tiara, then.” “No tiara. How’s Clarence?” she asked. “He’s thinking about it.” “He’s a thoughtful boy. But I really like the Irish wedding ring. My mom’s maiden name was Murphy, like I said, so it ties in with both families.” “Cool.” “Have I mentioned that I love you a lot?” she asked. “I know you do. Which must sound so egotistical, but that’s not what I mean. I know you do because you make it so clear. You say it so much. It’s so sweet. And I appreciate it so much. I don’t deserve you, but the feeling is entirely mutual. I have the most perfect girl on earth, and every other man in the world is in second place. I don’t understand why you chose me, but I know I’m the luckiest.” “Let’s see what Clarence thinks,” she said, reaching under the covers. “Oh, yeah. He’s rising to the occasion. I think there’s another one in there,” she said, ********* gently. I think he likes the summer look.” “it’s always, um, great with you. Oh, gosh. But that was, was just, really exciting and felt soooo good,” he said. “You are so funny,” she said. “Um, how’s that?” “You’re all tongue-tied up already, and all I’m doing is rubbing on you,” she said. “Feels really good,” he said. “And this will feel better,” she said, ****** *** **** *** ***** ** *** ** *** *****, then ******* **** *** ***** with her ***** and ****. “Christ Almighty, honey,” he said, gasping. She smiled and continued what she was doing for a few minutes. When she could feel him ******* ** and getting ***** ** ******, she stopped. “Now we need to ** ********* that might make a baby if I ****** ******* ***** so that we can commit the sin of having non-procreative conjugal relations,’ she said, smiling sweetly. “Okay,” he said, breathing heavily, not knowing what she had in mind. She ****** **** and **** ** **** *** *****. “Still like the view?” she asked. “Oh, Jesus,” he said, ********** ** *** ** *** ***** ****** **. She ******* **** *** ******* *** ** ****** she wanted *** and he ******, then held her **** and ****** *****. “Oh, honey,” he said, eyes closed, lost in the most ********** ********** sensation of a lifetime. “Then if we add this,” she said, ********* **** with her ***** *******. “Oh, ****! Honey!” he cried out. She giggled and ******ed him three or four more times. He lost any semblance of self-control and !!!!! ****** just a few minutes later. He fell to the bed as though shot through the head. Minnie smiled broadly and laughed a little. “Baby, you **** ** ** real good!” she said. She lay down next to him, facing him, still smiling. “Or, since you’re an English major, you **** ** ** extremely well.” She laughed again ad her tongue showed briefly when she did. “Jesus Christ Almighty,” he said. He was still poleaxed. She giggled some more and hugged him close. “Welcome to Chattanooga, baby,” she said, patting him. “You can go ahead and pass out. That was just fantastic. ‘Lights out,’ you might say. You’re such a fun baby.” Tom fell asleep for about fifteen minutes, then came awake suddenly, as though startled. Her arms and legs were draped over him. “Baby!” she said, in a sing-song voice, as he woke up. “Oh, honey,” he said. “Hey, sweetie.” “Have I said that I like you?” he asked. “You gotta do better than that,” she answered. “I like you a lot?” he said. “Nope.” “I love you?” he said. “Go yard,” she said. “You are the most perfect woman who ever lived and I am utterly besotted with every single thing about you,” he said. “I am completely devoted to you and will remain so until the day I die.” “Well, if that’s the best you can do. I understand you’re a little tired,” she said. “But you still don’t want me to ask?” he said. “Nope,” she said, shaking her head. “Okay.” They were quiet for a few seconds. “I guess it wouldn’t do any harm to rehearse. Practice our lines,” she said. He sat up, sitting cross-legged, holding her hand. “Minnie Walker, will you marry me?” he asked. “I’m sorry, what was that?” she asked. “Minnie Walker, will you do me the honor of marrying me?” he asked. “I’m thinking about it. My real name is Minerva.” “Minerva Walker, please, please make me the happiest man on earth and marry me,” Tom said. “Aren’t you already pretty happy?” she asked. “I hear you have a nice girlfriend.” “Yes. So please marry me so I can remain so.” “Well, if you’re sure you want to,” she said. “What’s the question ?” “Minnie, will you marry me?” “Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, YES! Did I say yes? Yes, yes, yes,” she said. He lay back down and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. “You’ve analyzed a lot of poetry, so you probably picked up on the subtle ‘yes’ theme,” she said. “You’re really sweet.” “I don’t need a diamond so you don’t need much money to ask and I just need couple of months from here to get Mommy ready and buddy if you change your mind I am going to track you down and… Well, I’m not sure. I’d do something.” “You won’t have to track me down,” he said. “Why’s that, baby?” she asked. “I’m kind of hoping I’m never apart from you for any protracted period ever again,” he said. “‘Kind of hoping?’” she said. “Step up your game, Marmaduke,” she said. “This may be just a rehearsal, but I still expect you to sell your lines.” “I will never willingly spend any protracted period of time apart from you until the day I die.” “Let’s take that from the top. Too many qualifiers. And what about the Afterlife?? You’ll get out of Purgatory eventually. And say it like you mean it this time.” “Sweetie, if you keep this up, you’re going to force me to make love to you again,” he said. “Get out!” she exclaimed. “It’s you’re fault. You’re really cute,” he said. “So you say, but Jesus!” “We don’t have to,” he said. “Yes, we do! You have to prove to me that this is even humanly possible,” she said, hugging him close. He did. Minnie referred to that as the Three-fer Afternoon several times in the next few weeks. They went to dinner at the Brass Register. Their waitress was Kim Tifton, his friend from high school, which felt a little odd to Tom. The next morning they went for a run together on the track behind City High. They had lunch at Buck’s Barbecue, which had opened while Tom had been away at college so he’d never tried it before. It was good. It turned out that Minnie absolutely loved barbecue, so they had dinner at the Hickory Hut on Brainerd Road. The next morning they spent their first hour of wakefulness as they usually did when they were alone, then Minnie had a question. “Did you go to church here or in Ringgold?” she asked. They were enjoying each other’s company before getting up. “Here. Our home parish should have been in St. Gerard’s in Ft. Oglethorpe but Mom and Dad had grown up in Peter and Paul’s and so we always went there. Would you like to go check it out?” “Sure. That was where I was headed. I’d like to see it. Is it a dressy church?” “No. Nobody dresses up except for Easter and Christmas Eve. Some of the men wore ties who I was in grammar school but that stopped years ago. Mom may be there, you know.” “May as well let her know I can take the host,” Minnie said. “Not sure I can,” Tom said. “What we do together isn’t a mortal sin any more, Romeo,” she said, teasingly. “Even if it were I couldn’t receive absolution, truth be told,” Tom said. “Why not?” “I cannot claim any measure of contrition for anything I have done with you,” he said. “Such a sweet, sinful boy,” she said. They got dressed and went to the church. They looked around at the congregation from the back. “There she is,” Minnie said. She needed reading glasses some of the time but her distance vision was very sharp. Tom’s mother was kneeling and praying, eyes closed. “Let’s wait until she’s done,” Minnie said. “That may take a while,” Tom said. “Then you go around that way and I’ll go around this way so we sit on either side of her.” “Can do,” Tom answered. Minnie got to the pew first, genuflected at the end, slid over towards Mrs. O’Malley, knelt beside her, prayed for a minute, then crossed herself just as Mrs. O’Malley finished her prayers. The expression on her face was one of utter delight and she hugged Minnie tight. “Aren’t you the sweetest thing! Now where’s my baby boy?” Tom’s mother asked. “Right there,” Minnie said, pointing, as Tom sat on her other side. She was absolutely delighted. She held both their hands and beamed proudly. After the service Tom offered to take her out to lunch but she needed to get back to Dalton to make lunch for Tom’s dad. Tom and Minnie walked her to her car and waved as they left. “If you ask me, their Sunday routine involves a little special Mom and Dad alone time and they’re glad to get it back,” Minnie said. “You ****-blocker, you.” “Please don’t make me think of my parents that way,” Tom said. “It will scar me for life.” “You may avert your gaze, Marmaduke, but I’m hoping not only that I’m right but that it runs in the family. You better not be a flash in the pan. I would become a bitter old woman.” “I will always strive to meet your expectations. What do you want for lunch?” “This is going to sound dumb, but can we go back to the Hickory House place? I really love good barbecue.” “A girl after my own heart,” Tom said. “I’m a girl after your everything, sweetie, and I intend to have it all again before we check out.” “Oh, I didn’t think about that. What time’s checkout?” Tom asked. He was thinking they might have to check out before lunch. “I called while you were taking a shower and asked for a late checkout. We’re good until three, and whether that’s long enough depends on how much you want to take advantage of our last alone time for a week or two.” “As thoroughly as humanly possible.” “That’s my baby. Let’s get some barbecue. Gotta keep our strength up.” She started work for her dad’s insurance brokerage the following Monday. Merrill Lynch offered Tom a trainee spot and he started in mid-June. Minnie wanted to rent an apartment as soon as she started work, but with her at the office full time her parents wanted to spend July in the British Isles, so she put off apartment-hunting until August so she could house-sit for them. Tom stayed with her in Dalton while her parents were traveling and had been there more than a week before he realized she owned any pajamas. “No point in putting them on with you around,” she said. “And don’t you change a thing about that.” When her parents returned she found an apartment complex she liked but their first vacancy was coming up in September. Tom finished his broker’s training and started to generate sales, calling prospects. One night in late August Tom walked her to the front door of her parents’ house and they paused at the front door. “I was going to wait until we could have a night alone together to do this, but I don’t want to wait any more,” he said. “I’m impatient.” “That you are. What’s up, Romeo?” “Minnie Walker, will you marry me?” She smiled broadly. “Yes, I will, baby. Yes, I will,” she said, wrapping her arms around him and hugging him tightly. “Thank you so much. This is exactly what I want.” “There’s this,” he said, and took a ring box out of his jacket pocket. She opened it and found a red gold Irish wedding ring. She put it on. She was thrilled. “It’s a little too big,” she said, excitedly. “The jeweler said he’d size it for free.” Minnie turned to open the front door. “No, wait!” she said, turning back to Tom to give him an enormous kiss that lasted at least thirty seconds, then stopped suddenly and looked down. “How’s Clarence?” “I’m presentable now but would've been noticeable if you kissed me much more.” “Okay, come on,” she said, taking his hand excitedly and opening the front door. The house was completely dark. She turned on the hall light and surprised Tom by yelling at the top of her lungs. “Mommy! Wake up!” He could hear motion and a few seconds later her mother appeared at the top of the stairs, tying a bathrobe. “What’s wrong, sweetie?” “Nothing at all! Tom just proposed and I said yes!” “Yay!” her mom said, and her parents hurried downstairs. She held out her hand. “Oh, look, Daddy,” her mom said. “He gave her an Irish wedding band just like my mother had,” she said. “Although Minnie, bless your heart, unless you eloped this evening too, you need to turn it over.” “I couldn't remember which was which. It’s a little big.” Minnie took the ring off and put it back on the other way. “Congratulations to you both. I think you make a fine couple,” Mrs. Walker said. “So you get together with your girlfriends and the people at the church and tell me when it’s going to happen. All I’m going to produce is the groom,” Minnie said. “And if you can’t figure it out fast we’re off to the J.P. in Rising Faun.” “Congratulations, son. Welcome to the family,” Mr. Walker said. They were married a year to the day after Minnie first suggested they have a fling.